Title: The Shreks of Westminster Bridge

Soundcloud Time: 1:44:33
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
Soundcloud Publication Date: October 23, 2012
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
He’s had lunch with Alice Cooper; he had too many drinks and he’s probably going to fall asleep.

Cool Kids
N/A

Guest Best Known
As Mitch from Phineas and Ferb.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Unnamed grilled about opinions on POV porn
Unnamed asked DM: Have you ever tried to suck your own cock?
John bearded
RH attempted to demonstrate his capabilities as a medium by making guesses about the colour of John’s grandmother’s hair and mantlepiece ornaments
asked DM (through RH as medium) whether David and Robert are like their characters on Peep Show
asked DM: What’s happening in the new series of Peep Show?
Unnamed asked DM: What do you think the key to success is so that you don’t end up like this self-indulgent, long-haired bloke next to you?

Emergency Questions

If you had to have sex with an animal – if you had to – what animal would you have sex with, if you had to?

I think an animal that, um – I just want it to be, in general, as low-stress as possible for everyone involved. The animal, but mainly me. And what constitutes having sex with? I mean, what if I just swatted a fly with my cock? Would that count? If I just had to make myself aroused, possibly not by thinking about a fly, or by thinking about a fly and then use that to sort of assault a fly. But I would not in any meaningful way penetrate the fly because a fly is so much smaller than the object of penetration… that wouldn’t count. Because otherwise I would say a fly. I would not say a wasp. So it’s got to be an animal of sufficient size to be able to enter? I don’t know. A sort of medium-sized, drugged animal, I suppose. Maybe a very calm old Labrador. Actually, now that I’ve said that it sounds lovely, doesn’t it?

If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?

It’s the pit cream all the way, isn’t it? You’d have to really like ham.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

No, but my brother has seen a ghost, he says. *RH gives guff about DM not answering the question.*

Have any of your siblings ever seen a ghost?

That’s an excellent question. Actually my brother’s seen a ghost. He said he saw a weird, glowing thing when he was a student. He woke up in the middle of the night and he thought there was some sort of glowing presence by the sink. And then the tap came on. He said the tape came on of its own accord. I mean, that proves it.

Have you or any of your siblings ever seen a bigfoot?

I haven’t seen a bigfoot. I think the thing about a ghost is you can see one anywhere, but this is a non-existent thing that’s location-specific.

Notes

DM references Sliding Doors after RH posits that he and DM are basically the same comedian.

RH references Bouncer from Neighbours after DM gives answer to emergency question about sex with an animal.

RH asks whether it would be better to find out that Jimmy Savile had sex with dead people or with living people without their consent.