Title: Adam and Eve

Soundcloud Time: 1:53:01
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
Soundcloud Publication Date: November 20, 2012
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
He’s just cleaned his penis with a willy brush.

Cool Kids
N/A

Guest Best Known
As Barry in Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased).

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: Unlike

Member Member Note
Mary Jane filming podcast
asked AB: Can you tell us your favourite Radiohead anecdote?
Unnamed man with beard
asked AB: If you could control how famous you are, where would you turn the dial? Would you make yourself astronomically famous? Would you be less famous?
Unnamed asked AB: You played a superhero on TV, what would be your superpower in real life if you could have a superpower?

Emergency Questions

If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?

*Siri*: I can’t decide

What is your favourite cheese?

I don’t like cheese. I suppose Primula.

If you had to have sex with an animal – if you had to – what animal would you have sex with, if you had to?

A human being is an animal though, right? What about a human that’s close to really being an animal? Maybe a horse. You know, there’s a film called The Beast. Have you seen The Beast? Aw, that’s a good film. […] It has some very extended scenes of horses mounting each other. And there’s one very moving moment where a horse kind of dismounts. You know it’s very literally animal, obviously, when they’re making sweet, sweet horse love. The horse on top sort of bites the mane of the other one and it really is great.

If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?

If it’s our family they would require a lot of sun cream if it was a sunny situation because my wife insists on slathering exposed part of the children. It wasn’t the case on our day, was it? It was a badge of pride to come back and be able to remove an entire layer of skin from your arm or your face. […] Smoked ham? Glazed ham? Can you pick the kind of ham? I’d like a ham hand. Yeah, I like ham. […] For me, protecting myself from the sun is less important than stuffing my face with ham.

When you eat asparagus, does your wee then smell of asparagus?

Obviously. Instantly. What’s the other one, sugar puffs?

When your wife eats asparagus, does her wee smell of asparagus afterwards? And if you didn’t know, would she let you smell her wee to find out?

That’s a good question. Hmm. That is the question I’ve been waiting for all my life. That’s the kind of question that Joe wouldn’t have entertained so much. He always resented my gravitation towards the lavatory, conversationally. […] I don’t know. I hope she would let me smell it but I haven’t had the opportunity.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

No, I don’t believe in ghosts. Everyone I love believes in ghosts passionately. My closest, nearest and dearest and all my friends.

Have any of your siblings ever seen a ghost?

Ah, no I don’t think so. I’d love to see a ghost because, you know, if you saw a ghost, fucking hell. You are sorted. I mean,t hat’s a game-changer, because life after death, God exists… […] To me if that was possible anything else is possible. And sure, why not, God.

Have you ever seen a bigfoot?

No, you see you should be asking Joe this. He’s an expert. I don’t know if he’s seen one but he’d love to. He’s obsessed by sasquatch.

If Frankie Boyle is the Mick Jagger of comedy, the outspoken voice of the disenfranchised youth, dehumanized by the press and feared by parents nation-wide, then Dave Gorman is Ringo Starr. He’s an everyman. He’s well known and provides entertainment in a variety of guises, but he still gives the impression he’d be incredibly polite if he ever met your mother. Discuss.

I remember years ago thinking about if comedians were like bands what bands would they be like and I remember thinking that you and Stewart would be like The Fall, and so what would we be like, we’d be Shed Seven. I’d be Rick Witter. A handsome, dark-skinned facsimile of something good who you could introduce to your mother, although your mother would probably say afterward, “Who was that twat?”.

Have you ever tried to suck your own cock?

Yeah. I got a bit. Well… yeah. I don’t want to be too graphic about it. You know, I’ve got extending powers. Extension capabilities. It’s a fun thing to do if you’re a guy. At a certain point you think, obviously, that would be good. So let’s try.

Notes

During the last episode, RH asked for audience essays about the Mick Jagger, Frankie Boyle, Ringo Starr, Dave Gorman analogy. Received only one essay from “Raoul Seagull”. Richard Herring described it as a poor entry that he would have only awarded a D-grade. Throughout essay referred to Mick Jagger as McJagger.

RH makes reference to previous Edinburgh Fringe Festival with AB; claims to have said some terrible things during it.

RH claims that David Mitchell is the best interviewee because he treats RH as if he’s a quite intelligent 5-year-old child.

RH comments that the origin of the emergency question was the awkward pauses in the Jonathan Ross episode.

RH comments that he keeps the emergency questions at the back of his notebook so they’ll always be readily available.