Title: N/A

Soundcloud Time: 1:40:13
Youtube Time: 1:46:20

Original Record Date: May 27, 2013
Soundcloud Publication Date: May 29, 2013
Youtube Publication Date:February 19, 2015

Please Welcome a Man

Cool Kids

Guest Best Known
His appearance in the television show Dot Comedy.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: Unlike

Member Member Note
Butlers one butler says etiquette begs closed cupboards
other butler says leave cupboards open for ready access
not in 40’s yet
Connor 15 years old
claimed to have stayed up very late at night
given a potato RH had been juggling as a visual joke to annoy the people who only listened to the audio
RH advises Connor to not eat a lot of cheese before going to sleep
told by RH to try backing himself into a bin to successfully suck his own cock
Unnamed tries to voice support for Sliding Doors but is shouted down by RH
CA consoles by saying there’s an alternate universe where RH allows her to defend Sliding Doors
Unnamed asked CA: Do you ever get told you look a bit like Ed Tudor-Pole?
RH asks him whether he ever gets told he looks a bit like Barabbas
Unnamed asked CA: What’s the worst gig you’ve ever had?

Emergency Questions

Would you prefer to have a hand made out of sun cream or an armpit that dispensed ham?

Super for a speed-wank. It maintains a hand-shape so as not to freak-out passersby, but it’s just dripping. I love ham but I hate the sun.

If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?

The armpit. I think that his dispensing armpit is excellent. I’d like it to be a lucky dip in some respects. I’d like to not know what was going to come out of my armpit. So if you’re in a restaurant with someone you’ve known for a long time, there’s sort of a pause in conversation you just flick the latch – “There you go, look at that – a gonk.”

Have you ever eaten asparagus?

This is an emergency question? What emergency is this good for because it has nothing to do with an interview? Yes I have. I ate it on Saturday night.

When you eat asparagus, does your wee then smell of asparagus?

Eh, ehhhhh… no.

When your wife eats asparagus, does her wee smell of asparagus afterwards? And if you didn’t know, would she let you smell her wee to find out?

I don’t know. Are you trying to trick me into, “‘Are you into water-sports?’ ‘Not tonight, darling, I’ve had asparagus.’ ‘I don’t have the receptors.’ ‘Away you go.'”

If you were doing a Leicester Square Theatre Podcast, what emergency question would you ask?

Well actually, my emergency question was about who smashed the cupboards so we’ve already used that one.

Have you ever seen a bigfoot?

Do you mean like one of the people in the street that you do’t see anymore with the big shoes? No, I haven’t seen a sasquatch but then I don’t live in North America.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Have I ever seen a ghost? No. No, I haven’t.

Have any of your siblings ever seen a ghost?

I don’t think either of my siblings have ever seen a ghost. My friend who lived around the corner from me swore that he saw a ghost.

Have you ever tried to suck your own cock?

Yeah, of course I have. No, no I can’t [do it]. I’m very unsupple in the back as it turns out.

What do you think happens to you when you die?

I think that’s it maybe. It think that’s it. I think we’re done. I don’t like to think about it. I really don’t like to think about it. And I think about it all the time and I try not to. Ugh, no. I can’t even express my own fear about it.


First video-recorded episode.

RHLSTP winner of the Chortle Internet Award and the Sony Best Comedy Bronze Award.

CA winner of the Sony Best Comedy Gold Award.

RH recalls CA mentioned that he didn’t like when cupboard doors open, which RH believes is evidence that CA smashed the cupboards in Edinburgh.

RH notes that he did not enjoy the Andy Kaufman biopic Man on the Moon.

RH notes that he hates The Truman Show.