Title: Mango Mist
Original Record Date: July 1, 2013
Soundcloud Publication Date: July 8, 2013
Youtube Publication Date: April 29, 2015
Please Welcome a Man
Who according to this Ouija board is going to have sex two more times before he dies.
Guest Best Known
Played the tapir in Robbie the Reindeer: Close Encounters of the Herd Kind.
Better or Worse than Last Week: Better
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: Like
Member Member Note Jimmy shown on RH’s hand-held camera still here from “last week’s” show had not heard about Pringles court case RH asked him what he would do with his law degree Unnamed shown on RH’s hand-held camera still here from “last week’s” show Ewan eating Texas BBQ sauce Pringles shown on RH’s hand-held camera service director at a software company working for [unintelligible] market insurance sitting with his friends RH asked if Ewan and his friend had ever considered having sex David Frew nuclear physicist shown on RH’s hand-held camera leaves during latter part of the show, “to build a nuclear bomb and end all this,” says RH
What would it take for you to fellate the actor Keith Allen?
Keith Allen? Well, he frightens me a little bit. If he said, “Gimme oral sex” in a really rough manner I might. Just out of scaredom.
Have you ever tried to suck your own cock?
Look, I’m sure I have, but like, you know, gave up very quickly when I realized you can’t. But yeah. I think – I do remember trying to catch my own sperm. Everyone’s done that, come on.
If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?
I’m vegetarian so I don’t really want meat anywhere near me. The thing about armpits is that’s where your actual proper smells comes from. Your wife probably fell in love first with that smell. But that is true; that’s is your proper smell and that’s what makes you an individual so… You smell quite mango-y, mate. *RH clarifies that there would be a valve thus reducing the sun cream smell.* You’ve absolutely sold it to me now.
What is it like being *guest*?
I take each day as it comes. Sometimes it’s fine, sometimes it’s not so fine. There was a time I tried to kill myself. I decided I was going to put my head in an oven and I was going to go through with it and then I had my head in the oven and then I went, God, it smells of chips, and I thought I’ll just have some chips before I die. And I kept looking for excuses and I’m still smelling chips, basically. So that’s what it’s like being me. Smell chips every so often. I think life’s alright.
How many chemicals are there in a carrot?
Does the carrot dispense ham? Are there chemicals sprayed on it? The tip of the carrot is overground, so it can have other chemicals on it, just the way you pollute the earth. Of course I don’t know the answer.
RH says that he wants to interview the whole cast of Robbie the Reindeer: Close Encounters of the Herd Kind.
RH says that his favourite snack is a multigrain bagel with butter and marmite, an apple, and some pickled onions. Or Weetabix.
Keith Allen question originated at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival podcast.
During taping SH put out 24 matches in his mouth.
SH suggests changing the ham hand/sun cream armpit question to something else.