Title: Why Won’t You Tell Us Your Exact Address?

Soundcloud Time: 1:16:31
Youtube Time: 1:16:45

Original Record Date: October 20, 2014
Soundcloud Publication Date: November 19, 2014
Youtube Publication Date: November 19, 2014

Please Welcome a Man
They thought he was shooting dust but one got through.

Cool Kids
N/A

Guest Best Known
For her three appearances on Richard Herring’s Edinburgh Fringe Podcast.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

Would you rather date a man who was a 6-foot tall penis with a face like Mark Reckless or a man who instead of having a penis had a tiny man growing out of there?

I’ll give it a go, I’ll give it a go. I’m nothing if not a trier. Do you make these up? Are you quite alright? The 6-foot penis man, has he got a penis as well? Why don’t you want me to have sex anymore, Richard? Are his feet testicles? I’m guessing, we’re probably not going to go shopping anyway, if I’m honest. He;s probably someone I’m going to keep indoors. The tiny man that is a penis, can he stand with his arms down by his sides? Can he breathe in a condom, is what I’m asking? I think I’m going to choose the little man penis. Because I think there still is potential there. Aw, are they both going to chat? I’ve changed me mind. Penis in a suit, please.

Do you ever get mistaken for a different celebrity?

I wore red glasses once and somebody thought that I was Sally the, uh, what is she called [Morgan]? Even thought she’s got a good, I’m assuming, a good 20 years on me. And, you know, is a charlatan. That’s just common knowledge, isn’t it? Yeah. I haven’t spoiled anybody’s hopes and dreams. I don’t know. Because I kind of change my hair sometimes, so… I don’t know if there’s really anybody else that I especially look like. Sorry. I’m not arrogant enough to say some big, gorgeous person like you do.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

I think so. I think it was just an old lady walking into my sister’s bedroom. That was all it was. No, it didn’t feel scary. I saw something and I didn’t know what it was and that’s what I put on it. It might not have been. You might be right. No, the thing is this is good. Neither of us are right and neither of us are wrong. I mean if I get in touch with her again I’ll make sure she comes and fucking haunts you. Maybe ghosts only come to nice people who aren’t arseholes.

Where do you get your crazy ideas from?

What, like coming on this?

Have you ever seen a bigfoot?

What, like on a man? Like a weirdly big foot and the other one’s just sort of 7 or 8? I’ve never, but I like saying the word. Don’t you like saying “sasquatch”? I didn’t even see [a moose in Canada]. I was promised a moose, which sounds like I’m just saying Geordie for “mouse”. We went in a helicopter at one point and they said where we have to get to is, like, a 45 minutes helicopter ride. Okay, so we get in the helicopter and I looked down and it was beautiful scenery of snow and of trees. It was beautiful but it was very same-y. And after six or seven minutes I fell asleep. And they were trying to film me being, like, “Oh wow,” and I was like, “You’re going to have do that on the way back”, ’cause I was, like, *snoring* like that. Because I’d scanned looking for a moose and there wasn’t one so I just fell asleep.

Notes

RH announces that he and CW are expecting their first child.

RH and SM have an argument over who has “won” in their podcast scrimmages.

RH records SM on his hand-held camera.

When speaking about doppelgangers, RH also notes that he looks like Chris Packham.

SM notes that all of RH’s podcasts could be deleted, so he really ought to print them.