Title: N/A

Soundcloud Time: 1:05:23
Youtube Time: 1:04:07

Original Record Date: October 20, 2014
Soundcloud Publication Date: November 26, 2014
Youtube Publication Date: November 26, 2014

Please Welcome a Man
Who was eating a Cornetto that he has technically paid for.

Cool Kids
N/A

Guest Best Known
Being Amanda Snell in the fantastic ITV show You Can Choose Your Friends and Vicky Jackson in Time Gentlemen Please. She was in [unintelligible] and Fist of Fun. She was also the host of Rule of Three, a quiz show that I wrote for that never made it to series. And was in Shush, a library sitcom that I script edited that never made it to series. All of those famous things have a connection with me.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: Better
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: Unlike

Member Member Note
James shown on RH’s hand-held camera
in the front row
the last couple of times RH had asked if it was his first time in attendance but it was not
was recently on the Internet
unemployed
David Frew shown on RH’s hand-held camera
in the front row
nuclear physicist
James’s father
when asked for parenting advice, said, “Get lots of sleep while you can.”

Emergency Questions

Would you rather date a man who was a 6-foot tall penis with a face like Mark Reckless or a man who instead of having a penis had a tiny man growing out of there?

I’ve completely lost the will to live. I mean, I’m going for the man with the other man because that way you get two men, I suppose. That would be alright because then if you get bored with one you’ve still got the other one that you can talk to. I suppose. But I mean really, Rich. As your older sister, can I just say this, you are a clever man. You went to Oxford. Look at yourself. Look at what you’ve become.

If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?

Oh dispenses sun cream; that’s a brilliant idea. No, no I don’t want that because I’m vegetarian. I want the sun cream. *RH suggests the ham hand would be a talking point.* Well, I find the BAFTA is the talking point. No, I want the sun cream. That actually a very sensible idea. If you patent that you will have no money worries ever. That could work. What would you just do that *pumps arm up and down*? That’s not so good, is it? Do you do it with stuff like hair gel as well?

Would you rather have a tit that dispensed talcum powder or a finger that can travel through time?

Surely no one picks the talcum powder tit, do they? Everybody wants the time travelling finger. Well then why are you asking the question? If you ever meet that person [who wants the talcum powder tit] will you please text me? I’d be happy to know that. Um, it would go back to Georgian times. 1824. Oh, I don;t know. What would I do with my finger in Georgian times? I’d probably eat some posset.

What would it take for you to fellate the actor Keith Allen?

I have worked with Keith Allen I have not fellated him. I’m good, thanks, I’ve just had a bap. It would have to be a fairly life-or-death situation. I mean, not just for Keith Allen, but just generally speaking. Complete stranger comes up to you in a bar, it would have to be pretty dire, I think.

Notes

RH has a new iPhone 6.

Elephant Man spoiler.

When asked for advice on raising a child, RF responded, “It’s not funny advice, but I can give you some straight advice – proper advice, which is listen. Explain and listen. They’re my two watch words. Explain everything and listen. ‘Cause you – when you hear kids going nuts and stuff in supermarkets and all that kind of stuff. You know, tantrums and it’s not entirely because of this, sometimes it’s just that they have tantrums, but it’s usually because they’re not being listened to, I think. So if you explain what you’re doing and if you listen to what their problem is, it works. That is my advice to you. It properly, properly works.”