Title: Kids Writing Set

Soundcloud Time: 1:08:45
Youtube Time: 1:09:17

Original Record Date: November 17, 2014
Soundcloud Publication Date: January 3, 2015
Youtube Publication Date: December 31, 2014

Please Welcome a Man
Who says find another place ’cause you can’t play here, spreading all your nits about.

Cool Kids
N/A

Guest Best Known
In the 1990’s late-night sketch show Planet Mirth, a show so popular that they kept moving it around in the schedules to give the other sketch shows a chance. Put it on at 3:00 in the morning on ITV.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: Better
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Andy McH Shouted out “RHLSTP” after RH referenced it, causing MJ to ask him what he was talking about

Emergency Questions

Would you rather date a man who was a 6-foot tall penis with a face like Mark Reckless or a man who instead of having a penis had a tiny man growing out of there?

I think the former actually. Yeah, yeah, because the other one is… well, it’s just you’d look into his eyes, wouldn’t you? It would be too awkward. Whereas the other… So not a Siamese type of thing? I think the whole idea is from a different world.

What celebrity would you like to be stroking your head as you die?

Ooh. Alive or dead? Someone with healing hands. I don’t know who that would be. McCoy from Star Trek. *Makes high-tech healing noise.* And suddenly you get better. Barbara Woodhouse. She’s probably quite good at stroking, isn’t she? I was going to say Rolf Harris, but…

When you eat asparagus, does your wee then smell of asparagus?

Yes, it does.

If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?

But do you mean, not in aspect? Is it like a processed ham? Or is it, like, fresh? Crumbed? Yeah, yeah, well I’m sure that I could just do that. Make a sticky mess of me. Which factor? I think I’d definitely go for the ham. Yeah, ham, because then you could have a knife in the other hand and just carve away. Spend hours doing that.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Ah, no. Do I look like I’ve seen a ghost?

Have you ever seen a bigfoot?

Um, has anyone? But it’s not a yeti, is it? Greg Davies, does that count?

Notes

Desert Island Dicks: Richard III, Richard Burton, Richard Polly [friend from school], Richard Ayoade, Richard Eyre, Wendy Richard, Richard Whitmore, Richard Baker, Ricardo Cavalier

RH tells story of Sara Pascoe responding to the asparagus question backstage. The footage of that conversation was lost.

Previous RHLSTP guest Greg Davies was MJ’s son’s drama teacher; they met in a parent-teacher meeting.

Title of this episode is taken from an incomprehensible note in RH’s notebook. MJ immediately made up a one-liner based on this note, at RH’s request.