Title: Normal

Soundcloud Time: 1:38:29
Youtube Time: 1:37:37

Original Record Date: July 27, 2015
Soundcloud Publication Date: September 30, 2015
Youtube Publication Date: September 30, 2015

Please Welcome a Man
It’s nearly the last one of the series.

Cool Kids
I was down at the ice bar in London where everything is made of ice.

Guest Best Known
For this part of Zack Eastwood in Consolevania.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

What weighs more: 1kg of steel or 1 kg of feathers?

Is it steel?

If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?

What was the first one? A hand made out of ham. Is it always fresh? So it doesn’t go off. And the other one is an armpit? Well that. It would definitely be that. Aye, I was on holiday a few weeks ago and that would have been good. Aye, just convenient to have it right there. That, that’s an easy one, that. Who would say the ham?

Would you rather date a man who was a 6-foot tall penis with a face like Mark Reckless or a man who instead of having a penis had a tiny man growing out of there?

The kind of normal guy with a guy for a cock. Aye, ’cause I’m normal. I’m normal. Aye, ’cause at least then you could go out with him and people wouldn’t point and all that. That’s something private between you, the wee little guy.

Have you ever come up with a terrorist atrocity?

*RH mentions how terrorists aren’t achieving much.* Is it though? Because I’m thinking about ISIS – and this will get a wee bit dark. We’ll cut this out so I don’t get shamed on Twitter […] The things that ISIS is doing is terrible. Terrible. […] There can be no doubt that we must fight ISIS, whatever the, etc., etc. But see the videos they’re making, I haven’t watched any of them, but even the fucking description or just the wee still picture before the thing happens. And like, fuck me man, it’s terrible. It’s the sort of things in games, like in Grand Theft Auto. You know, I used to love in Grand Theft Auto – I used to love fucking running into the underground and chucking fucking grenades at everybody. Or a fucking flamethrower. Just go down and *makes flamethrower noise and motion*. And getting it in my head, This is really fucking happening. Get a fucking hard-on. Asking pals, “Do you ever get hard-ons when you torture people?” You don’t […]. But the just one or two wee things are then – that’s fucking atrocious. […] “How do you compare my grief to that grief?” But that’s a numbers thing. That’s a kind of a big thing and a big building and all that; it’s kind of Hollywood. But that other stuff, that’s fucking horrific. You can get your […] a building blowing up. These sort of things happen; they can just happen. Like a gas explosion or falling out a window. It happens. But the other fucking things… See when I think about the videos I think, Why is that? What am I meant to do? I’m like, Fuck me, man. That’s terrible. And then I’m like, What now? What do I do now? That’s like that psychic thing: “Look what we’ve done, look what we can do.” Like, but what’s the harm? What happens next? I say, “That’s terrible.” “Sorry, you were going to say something next?” “No, just we’re evil.” “Yep, so what would you like to talk about today?” “Uh, we’ll see you later […]” I don’t get the point though, mind you. I don’t actually get the point of 9/11 either. Why do we do these things to each other? I don’t get the point. “It was then Limmy broke down on stage: ‘I don’t understand man. Man’s hatred of man.'”

Notes

Kickstarter: This episode is sponsored by the Red Clothing Company.

Includes conversation about previous argument between RH and L regarding RH’s jokes about Scotland.

Kickstarter: Dave Woolard asks L, “Ask him if he would tell a wee story about becoming a comedian again”.

At the end of the podcast L reads the story “The Size of Sally” from his book Daft Wee Stories.