Title: Leicester Tourist Bones Ransom

Soundcloud Time: 47:54
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
Soundcloud Publication Date: October 3, 2016
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who is probably the world’s most famous York City supporter, apart from Guy Mowbray.

Cool Kids
I was down at KitKat Crescent from five years ago.

Guest Best Known
For the IT work he did in Warrington.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

Have you ever tried to suck your own cock?

I have a terrible bad back.

If you were the Prime Minister, would you use nuclear weapons?

Greens are notoriously against nuclear weapons, you’re right. I might use them against UKIP.

Have you ever seen a bigfoot?

I have – this sounds like a terrible plug – but I have seen a huge foot for the BFG on the floor in City Screen.

Kettle Crisps are not as nice as they once were. Have I changed or have they? That’s a rhetorical question. If you could travel back in time to compare any food of today with an equivalent in the past, what time would you go back to and what food would you taste?

Do you remember those Freddos? You’re the age. I think, like, the Kettle Crisps, they’re not the same, but they, they’re smaller or something. They’re ripping us off. They shrink them down.

Ali’s Randomage: Have you ever flown a kite?

I have flown a kite. It’s not political, now. I have flown a real kite. I went over to Liverpool and they had this kite festival and it was just amazing. They had these huge kites with little kites hanging off the back of them. One was in the shape of a stegosaurus or something, it was just amazing.

MarshallJonesJr.com: Have you ever tried sushi?

*RH intimates that it would be harder to find someone in York who had than in London.* You’re a cheeky devil, aren’t you? There was a wonderful sushi bar in York a few years ago. It was run by two Lebanese guys. And we had some visitors from Japan and we said, “Well, we’ll take them to the sushi bar.” And said, “What did you think of that?” The Japanese are always polite, aren’t they? They never tell you what they really think. They’re inscrutable in that sense. And they said, “Yes, very nice.” We took that to mean, “it was okay.”

HelloGiggles.com: If you had the option of adopting a baby fox or a baby koala, which one would you choose?

Aw, can I have both? Or would they fight? Koalas; you think koalas are cuddly and they’re not; they’re quite fierce. *RH talks about eucalyptus.* They don’t really eat anything else. Look out for koalas.

If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?

I think I’ll dispense, if you don’t mind. I’ll dispense with the sunscreen and just buy a hat. I shall go for a hand full of ham.

Would you rather have a tit that dispensed talcum powder or a finger that can travel through time?

I’ve always been interested in time travel. How would you know where you are? It’s an interesting concept. I don’t need that much talcum powder. I think I’m kind of fascinated by this idea of poking a wormhole through time. Oh, you get to choose as well? What was that programme, um, that they used to show where you just ended up in some time, could be dinosaurs? Quantum Leap, yeah that takes you back, doesn’t it? Could be dinosaurs or it could be the Edwardian era. I think you might get just a test show and then they wouldn’t make it into a series, would they?

Have you ever put your genitals in the mouth of a live animal?

I think you may have confused me with Mr. Cameron. So, no, is the answer. I think you’re confusing me with Cyril Smith.

Notes

Podcast recording takes place in York, near where RH was born in Pocklington.

DT wearing the chains of the Lord Mayor, meaning that everyone has to be called Lord Mayor.

DT accompanied by a minder.

DT is York’s first Green Party mayor.

Audio only.

After the recording, the Frankie Howerd’s Blue Plaque was erected in York by DT and Mark Addy.