Title: Sean Bean’s Pound Shop Subterfuge

Soundcloud Time: 50:22
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
Soundcloud Publication Date: October 5, 2016
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who is the next Lord Mayor of York. It can’t be that hard, can it?

Cool Kids
I was down at with the Sheriff of York. He’s quite an evil guy.

Guest Best Known
For his appearance as DC Newley in Ghostbusters of East Finchley.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: Better
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Unnamed in the front row
15 years old
studying “a variety of things” at school
just completed O-levels
hoping for better than C’s
not relatives; “just friends”
Unnamed in the front row
16 years old
sitting with above Unnamed

Emergency Questions

What is the worst emergency you’ve ever been involved in?

Two levels? No, I’ve blanked it out. I don’t have an emergency. I was hoping to get the one about sucking your own cock. I don’t think I’ve ever been involved in a proper emergency. I did see a guy break five ribs and puncture a lung. It was in Morocco, you know, so it didn’t really count.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Seen a ghost? I – no, I lived in a house out west, stayed in a house in Birmingham, of all places, and there were footprints in the bed when we came back from a night out. Footprints in the bed.

Have you ever tried to suck your own cock?

I think we can all agree, no. I did hear a story about a kid who was, like, fifteen; who was in the bath, relaxing in a gentlemanly way and looked down and though, I’ll bet a bloody could. Had a go and thought, No, if I can just – if I get my feet up over the back of me head, like that. And he contorted himself and his back went *makes cracking sound*. And he had to say, “Dad!” I think that’s, well that’s probably an emergency situation as well.

Kickstarter: Tim Turner says, “Richard Dawkins claims to have seen dogs doing a 69. What’s the worst lie you have told to impress people?”

Probably that I can suck my own cock. No, lie? I’m the world’s worst liar. Yeah, yeah. No, I cannot lie. *RH states that as an actor it’s MA’s job to lie.* Our job is telling the truth; it’s finding the truth in whatever it is; and I think it’s… I am a shit liar. I really am.

Ali’s Randomage: Have you ever flown a kite?

Only as a child. *RH asked how it was.* Ugh, rubbish. Fucking rubbish. Why? What’s the big deal? Why make it into – it’s a bit of fucking string, a bit of cloth, and I don’t even think that that is a right of passage. It’s just, like, running with a bit of string. “Is it up yet?” Oh wait, am I talking about the same thing?

Do you think if you have sex with a robot that should count as cheating on your partner?

I think, well, it depends if you need lubrication. If you do, then… *RH asks if MA would take the opportunity to have sex with a robot.* Yeah, fucking right. *RH asks about MA’s wife’s reaction.* I think she should live with it because, you know, they’re going to be useful around the house.

Would you rather date a woman who was a 6-foot tall vulva, or a woman who instead of having a vagina had another tiny woman in her place?

I don’t want to give the wrong answer, but I think I’d have to go for the little tiny… I think, yeah. *RH describes 6-foot tall vulva woman.* I think I’m going to go with the other one.

Notes

Audio only.

Game of Thrones spoiler.

RH says that someone is re-making Goodnight Sweetheart, but not him.