Title: Waiting for Crawford

Soundcloud Time: 1:09:56
Youtube Time: 1:10:07

Original Record Date: June 5, 2017
Soundcloud Publication Date: June 14, 2017
Youtube Publication Date: June 14, 2017

Please Welcome a Man
Who this week irked a postman.

Cool Kids
I was hanging around with Plat’num from, I hardly need to tell you, from the Blazin’ Squad. We met down by the crossroads.

Guest Best Known
As a panelist on the panel show Scruples from 1998.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

Have you ever irked a postman?

Yes, I have. Yeah, I was doing, sort of, like, you know, the delivery, the newspaper delivery during the week. And there was this postman. We used to go down a sort of cul-de-sac, little flats here and there. And occasionally the postman would give me letters to, you, know, “If you’re going to number 34 can you post that through the thing?” You know. So one time I tried to give him a Daily Express to post at number 54. I’d got it wrong, the relationship between me and the postman. I thought, you know, I was twelve years old. He was double my age, thirty or something like that. You know, pals together in the workplace, walking the same streets, you never know how heavy the next package is going to be. I remember one day delivering a Daily Express, “Martin Bormann Found!” on every single newspaper. They were convinced in 1973 that they’d found Martin Bormann. Anyway, enough of this topical material.

Would you rather be able to turn your head like an owl or have a neck that telescopes up to the length of a giraffe’s neck, but can go back down again to normal?

The second one. Yeah, yeah, because you can always do that *turns around to look behind*. I’m assuming I can see where I’m going, this giraffe. Well, particularly I can see where I’m going.

Notes

RH notes that at the Wells Comedy Festival RH introduced the emergency question “Have you ever irked a postman?” but he did not actually irk a postman until later.

New emergency questions book introduced, available from Go Faster Stripe.