Title: The Camaraderie of the Jam Factory

Soundcloud Time: 1:09:06
Youtube Time: 1:09:28

Original Record Date: June 19, 2017
Soundcloud Publication Date: July 12, 2017
Youtube Publication Date: July 12, 2017

Please Welcome a Man
Who has quite badly cut his finger today and needs a plaster; that’s how bad it was.

Cool Kids
I was outside BOOKS Etc. the other day, queuing up. Queuing up with some of the other people for the new Harry Potter release. We were all waiting outside for the next one to come out. It’s not been announced, but we’re just waiting in case. And there was a kid there dressed up as Hagrid – he was about five.

Guest Best Known
For being in the pilot episode on Sky TV of Street Cred Sudoku.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Unnamed had seen Best Man’s Speech
did not enjoy Best Man’s Speech

Emergency Questions

If you had to be anally violated by a popular chocolate bar, if you had to, which chocolate bar would you choose to be inserted in your anus?

Well, I don’t think I’d be shy if I was going for it, so it would have to be the full four-finger Twix. I mean, if you’re going to do it, do it. Don’t go for a Flake – nobody will enjoy that. It doesn’t have the consistency to do the job properly. I’d go for the full, yeah, or even a Chunky. Chunky Kit Kat.

After you have been anally violated by the chocolate bar, who would you like to then eat the chocolate bar, not knowing where it had been, whilst you secretly watch them?

Well, that’s a double-edged sword, because you’re going to have to get rather intimate with someone you might not like – well, you wouldn’t like. Yeah, so… but it’s your asshole. So, at the moment, probably someone like Michael Gove. Because he looks like he’s already done that. He’s got that sort of face like, “Sorry, I’ve just come away from anally munching some chocolate.” He’s got that look, he’s got that face that looks well-adapted to that.

What swear word would you like repeatedly shouted by a drunk man at your funeral? The drunk man is turning up regardless and is going to shout something, so you might as well choose.

I quite like “fuck knuckle”. Fuck knuckle. My mum uses it every now and again. “Ooh, just a complete fuck knuckle.” It’s funny when a woman in her seventies says it, it really is. And it’s, its quite a meaty swear word, isn’t it? *Screws up face in anger.* “Fuck knuckle!” So yes, fuck knuckle. And I think it’s one of those words that if you said it over and over and over again it would lose any sort of meaning and then it becomes quite sort of rhythmic and almost sort of yogic. Fuck knuckle, fuck knuckle… In a meditative state, yeah.

What one photo would you send out to aliens?

What photo? At the moment I think it would probably be a photo of Trump, which sounds quite… But just to go, “It came to this.” It came – it finally we screwed it up so badly and created a system so off-its-head, that it came to this. It ended with his. Because I think it might well end. It’s, it’s um… Because if there is a nuclear war cockroaches and his hair are the only things that will survive. That will totally take a blast.

Notes

RH notes that CW is a quarter Norwegian “or something”.

RH recently bought a dog.

RH tells the joke that he always gives when requested for help writing a best man’s speech.