Title: Dead Mannequin People

Soundcloud Time: 59:58
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
Soundcloud Publication Date: August 1, 2017
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who doesn’t know where he is.

Cool Kids
I was down at Bootham Crescent the other day. The youth York City team, who to be honest are the only decent team in this city.

Guest Best Known
RK: For being confused with the bloke from iZombie, who has the same name as him, and in fact when I got his name through I thought, Brilliant, that was a surprise.
MB: For playing Graveney in Dramarama.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Unnamed extremely drunk Yorkshireman suggested an emergency question
Unnamed drunken audience members walks to the washroom via the longest route possible
Unnamed asks MB if he was Punch or Judy in the pantomime

Emergency Questions

Rahul Kohli

If you had to do a human centipede with two other people, if you had to, but you could choose the two other people, and you’re in the middle, who would you choose?

Would it be misogynistic to put Emma Watson at the front? Okay, Emma Watson’s definitely at the front. And at the back, I’d probably put Nigel Farage. Just so, as opposed to spouting shite about immigrants coming out of his mouth he can have the reverse.

If you had to be anally violated by a popular chocolate bar, if you had to, which chocolate bar would you choose to be inserted in your anus?

Do Maltesers count? […] *RH notes he will allow a Malteser bar.* No, it’s a bit more thick and a bit more ridged.The Kinder Maxi’s quite small. It’s got them ridges that can snap off pretty easily. Just so it doesn’t get trapped in there forever, that’s all I’m thinking. Do Twiglets count? Yeah, I’ll probably go with Kinder Maxi. Kinder Maxi.

Martin Barrass

If you had to be anally violated by a popular chocolate bar, if you had to, which chocolate bar would you choose to be inserted in your anus?

I’d go for a Toblerone, every time. All those ridges, out on it’s own. Airport-size.

If you could have all your teeth replaced by psychic orbs that could tell you all future events by telepathy but would scream it a high-pitched volume every time you opened your mouth, would you go ahead with the teeth replacement operation?

In hospital when I said Gordon, my best mate – he wouldn’t want me to tell you think, but they said, “Are you his father?” And he’s six months older than me. But then they looked at my mouth and they said, “Are they his own teeth?” What? Thought they’d have to be replaced by jelly babies, I don’t know, or something like that.

What’s your favourite colour?

Red. It’s got to be red, scarlet. Blue? Blue? Purple?

What is the most pretentious book you’ve ever bought but not read?

The Bible. *RH notes there’s some good stuff in the Bible.* Oh there are. And what’s the final word in the Bible? *RH notes it’s “amen”.*

Have you ever seen a ghost?

*Question derailed by RH accusing the vocal audience member who left for the washroom in an obvious manner of being a ghost.*

Have you ever tried to suck your own cock?

I’ve seen it done on video. A very shaky VHS. Yeah, the tip kept sticking out. But the guy actually, he lay on his back and he was able to – I’m sorry, but the rude parts of the body, you know – don’t be so Victorian. So he lay on his back there. The said member was – he’d got a fair amount in as well. Yeah, I think that was an advantage because… I’ve got small feet. Little jockey, bit whip. But, you know, if you can do it – I mean, if you can get around to it – hours of endless, endless fun.


RK and MB were interviewed one after the other, rather than simultaneously.