Title: Lost Leather Jacket
Original Record Date: Unknown
Soundcloud Publication Date: October 11, 2017
Youtube Publication Date: October 11, 2017
Please Welcome a Man
Who now lives in the countryside and loves the way that that turns his whole life into an action film.
I was on the set of Cheggers Plays Pop the other day. It’s still going, just they’ve got the same – a very old Keith Chegwin and some of the kids who just never got home. There’s a lot of those at the BBC in the 1970’s.
Guest Best Known
Another person who’s best known for his appearance on Street Cred Sudoku.
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If you had to be anally violated by a popular chocolate bar, if you had to, which chocolate bar would you choose to be inserted in your anus?
With absolutely no hesitation I would say a Flake. Just because it would probably fall apart before it penetrated your niggly giggly. Like, Flake versus my arse – my arse will win, you know what I mean? If you – I don’t want a [unclear] bar fresh from the freezer. I think that would hurt.
Do you think you’ve cried more tears or created more sexual juices in your lifetime? And would you appreciate some afterlife It’s a Knockout affair to settle the question in heaven?
I would very much appreciate the afterlife It’s a Knockout affair and I would like it brought up in which year each was created. Because obviously the first eighteen years it’s just tears, that’s it. With a little bit of – is my own included, by the way? Yeah, I’d like to see it year by year. Yeah, that would be fascinating. But I think, just be the sheer – I mean, how much do you cry when you even cry? Compared to how much, you know… I’ve never found myself going, “Well, I’ve got to tidy up in here; I’ve been crying too much.” My wife has never come home and gone, *sniffs* “Have you been crying in here?”
What is the strangest thing you have ever found in the embers of a bonfire?
My goodness me. We had bonfires quite regularly because we don’t have neighbours, so we , we were able to, but… In Ireland we do bonfires. We light a bonfire at Halloween. So the bonfire night and the Halloween night are all done on the same night. We don’t have a separate thing with the whole houses part. We do it then, but being Irish the fireworks and bonfires go on for a good week before and after. There’s still generally a lot of bangers going off. But, no, I… I had something for a second, but then I started talking and then I lost it. It’s weird, because as I say, I love a bonfire. No – I remembered it. That whole thing about hedgehogs – I was going to say – and now your cat as well, if you build a bonfire what you should then do is pick the bonfire up and move it somewhere else. You know, in case there are any hedgehogs in it. But I think anything that’s in a bonfire – Bonfires are not difficult to get out of. I think if you start to get hot, and can’t climb out of the thing that’s hot, you deserve to die. I think hedgehogs that die in bonfires – fuck ’em. You know? And your cat. *RH and EB argue about the suitability of this question/answer.* Some of my wife’s university notes didn’t burn well enough. Is that good enough? She burned her fucking thesis because she had no desire for it anymore. *RH asks why EB’s wife did this.* What could it – literally, the size of that table taking up space in the house, fuckin’ pointless. There was no kind of, “Oh, this is us freeing ourselves from the concept of education.” Just, I don’t need this anymore, put this on the bonfire. And it didn’t burn; the paper was all compacted. Yeah, so you could still resubmit this and you could get notes on it. I’ve done everything I can with this fucking bonfire question. Let’s have an interval and then Sara Pascoe, please.
EB notes that RH prefaces most questions with stating that he wants to ask a question.
RH tells story of finding his first cat in the embers of a bonfire.
In his notebook RH finds a scrap of paper in his handwriting that reads, “This is childish Brexit, division.” RH not sure what this means.
RH tells story of the cat referenced above dying after RH left home for the first time at 18.