Title: Vagina Cash Machine

Soundcloud Time: 1:11:12
Youtube Time: 1:11:55

Original Record Date: Unknown
Soundcloud Publication Date: December 14, 2017
Youtube Publication Date: December 13, 2017

Please Welcome a Man
Who this week was belittled by a scaffolder.

Cool Kids
I was hanging out with Ubercorn from the Go Jetters. He’s like a disco unicorn who makes the world revolve.

Guest Best Known
For his appearance in The Morning After Show, which was a pretty bad This Morning with Richard Not Judy knock-off.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

Have you ever been belittled by a scaffolder?

Is that an innuendo for something? Um, no, but I would love to be.

What do you most regret destroying with fire?

Bloody hell. There are so many options. What have I destroyed with fire? I wish these were multiple choice. Wow… I’m just, I’m trying to think of something I’ve set fire to. I remember. I burned down a friend’s kitchen. It suddenly came back to me. With a toaster, by accident. Those toasters – they know what to do and I just went for it and went back in and went for it and we were playing on the computer and then *sniffs* – kitchen on fire. All the underneath and all the cupboard on one side.

Wasn’t Brexit a brilliant idea?

I think that remaining is right thing to do. I think the general principle, whether you can get into the heavy politics of it, is reaching out and finding commonality with other people is a lot better way to go than putting up barriers and finding, looking for differences. And I think the way Europe doesn’t seem to have got in any wars since the EU came about, for me that seems to be a thumbs-up, rather than a thumbs down for that system.

Is there a part of you that would actually like to live in a Christmas future where Tiny Tim has died in infancy?

You say part, I say all. This doesn’t often get said, but Tiny Tim is a massive cunt. I don’t know Tiny Tim. I don’t even know the tale.

How many ghosts are there in the Christmas Carol?

Three. *RH adds that Joseph Marley counts as a ghost. And there are two Jacob Marley’s in the Muppet version.*

Do you think Noel Edmonds has ever spent a Christmas alone?

I doubt it. I feel lacking knowledge in this area. If you had asked me if there are any Hanukkah’s that he’s spent alone… Noel Edmonds has definitely not spent a single Christmas alone.

Does it ever concern you the name Minstrels has a potentially racist derivation? I mean, sure there were minstrels during the Middle Ages, but is that what Galaxy names the chocolates after? Are you being slightly racist if you enjoy them?

I think they’re evening things up with the guilt that they’re all black, aren’t they? And they’re black inside and they’re black on the outside. That’s in no way comparable to the awful black and white Minstrels.

Notes

RH encourages listeners to join Bulb (energy provider).