Title: Brian Glover’s Walkman

Soundcloud Time: 1:16:34
Youtube Time: 1:18:11

Original Record Date: Unknown
Soundcloud Publication Date: January 26, 2018
Youtube Publication Date: January 24, 2018

Please Welcome a Man
Who, like a ghoul, has just been down to Oxford Circus to see where the events of last Friday didn’t happen.

Cool Kids
I was talking to David Sneddon the other day. Remember David Sneddon, mate? David Sneddon! He won the, uh, first Fame Academy, you remember?

Guest Best Known
As Henry in Swinging with the Finkels – yes – which is a major motion picture, so don’t you laugh at that.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
David Frew Reminisces about how the current chairs used to have legs, and how Greg Davies broke one of them.
RH describes David as the RHLSTP historian.

Emergency Questions

What is the most valuable thing that you have ever buried?

Buried? We don’t bury things. No, from the streets we don’t bury shit. Just leave it on the floor. *RH asks PC the most valuable thing he’s ever dug up.* Dug up? Are these questions left over from Savile?

What do you most regret destroying with fire?

Destroying with fire? That’s a good question. I’ve never been asked this question before. I haven’t had a bonfire – the thing is, if I’m making a fire or burning things or destroying things, I couldn’t get away with the things you do. If I was in the garden and there’s a fire and the next-door neighbour said, “There’s a guy with a beard having a fire in the garden”, I think the flying squad would be there.

Have you ever fallen down stairs?

Fallen down stairs? Stairs? Falling up stairs is funnier than falling down stairs. Um, I’ve fallen down stairs a few times, yeah.

Do you have a celebrity hand twin?

Hand? A what? *Trails off into conversation about RH’s celebrity hand twin being Emma Watson.*

If you had to do a human centipede with two other people, if you had to, but you could choose the two other people, and you’re in the middle, who would you choose?

Maybe Hermione. And behind me, Harry Potter.

What was the worst occasion in which you were totally naked?

The worst occasion? The worst occasion? Totally naked. Aw, that’s a tough question, that one. What is the worst occasion… I don’t normally walk around completely naked. I have shaved my whole body down now. Because I used to be quite hairy. Pretty much. Can we show this in the podcast? Because I used to be quite hairy and I just thought… Do you leave it just natural now and shit? *RH states grooming is too much effort.* Not grooming, I’m talking about body hair. It’s not the reason I shave it down. *RH asks about difficulty shaving the perineum.* You’ve just got to trim it, because when you shave certain areas you get a few nips and, you know, knives going everywhere. And then, it’s pretty embarrassing that you’re doing it naked in the middle of Dixon’s. “I just want to test out this Braun multi-shave.”

If you could have all your teeth replaced by psychic orbs that could tell you all future events by telepathy but would scream it a high-pitched volume every time you opened your mouth, would you go ahead with the teeth replacement operation?

A head with a teeth replacement? Well if you spoke just by covering your teeth, because you can’t really see my teeth when I talk. They’re not as prominent as your teeth. You’ve got kind of horsey teeth, you know? Mine are normal-sized teeth. [The psychic orb teeth] are going to be massive. Yeah, I’d probably take the teeth. Yeah, and then you can make money that way. Wouldn’t have to do stand up anymore. No, I don’t do stand up for the money. I do it for the love of the money. So, you know, you’re making big money now. Big on tour and you’re always, you know, the fact is, how long you been doing that now? *RH advises it’s been 28 years.* Yeah, because I came to your Edinburgh show a few years ago, I think, and that was, uh – which one was that? Was it the best of… Did you do a best of? *RH advises The Best was not shown in Edinburgh.* What was the last one I saw? I think it was 2014, I think? *RH suggests it was Lord of the Dance Settee.* Yeah, that was the one. You stand on the sofa and shit.

Notes

15-year anniversary of Warming Up.

Encouraged listeners to sponsor via Drip.

RH has applied “Fragile” packing tape to the spine of his Tiny Rick notebook.

RH shows the audience a picture in his notebook drawn by Phoebe Herring.

RH notes that part of this year’s Kickstarter campaign funds will be put towards buying new chairs.