Title: Hucknall Forest
Original Record Date: Unknown
Soundcloud Publication Date: March 21, 2018
Youtube Publication Date: March 21, 2018
Please Welcome a Man
Who is not sure how he is going to get home tonight, as it is cold, apparently, and that is enough to stop trains working.
I was playing Hungry Hippos the other day. That’s not the cool bit, that’s not cool. I was playing it with the bloke and the woman from off of the Mastermind box. Yeah, they’re pretty cool.
Guest Best Known
As the Man in The Man Who Fell In Love With a Traffic Cone.
Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
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When was the last time you travelled by coach?
Wow, coach. I haven’t been in a coach for a long time. A long time. I used to go to gigs on coaches. It’s probably twenty years. I used to – Charlie Cheese, I had a wheel of cheese. That was hilarious, yeah. Just a big prop of a wheel that I would spin, like for contestants on a game show. And I used to carry this fucking thing all around the country. It was huge. But yeah, I can remember shoveling the wheel of cheese into the underside of a National Express. But it was twenty years ago, I think.
How do you decide when it’s time to retire a pair of pants?
Holes, probably. Oh, only little. You know, when they start fraying. *RH asks if the pants are disposed of the minute they start to fray.* Not the minute. When they’re yellowing?
Have you ever seen a bigfoot?
Um… no. Have I ever seen a bigfoot? No.
Have you ever seen a ghost?
I pretended I saw one for quite a few years. For quite a few, when I was a teenager. I was staying around with – it was a sleepover at a friend’s house – vicarage. Sort of a prime location for a ghost. I think I saw something out of the corner of my eye, looked around, it was nothing. I thought, I might just pretend I saw a ghost. And I kept it up for quite a few years. It was a bloke with a tray – a butler, an old butler. *RH asks if MC saw a ghost or not.* No, I didn’t I realize now. I’ve told it so may times I started to convince myself that perhaps I had seen some ghostly figure, but I didn’t.
If you had to marry one of the Muppets, which one would you marry?
Yes. There was a member of the band. Remember the band? With straight blonde hair? Janice. That’s who, that’s who you mentioned. One of the chickens is quite nice, quite cute.
What is the strangest thing you’ve ever found in your junk email?
I get so little spam. Like, I get an email a dy, and something in my spam forwarded once every fortnight. Yeah, so nothing.
Do you have a favourite plate?
Yeah, well, I’ve got my cereal bowl from when I was a kid. Bunnykins bowl[…]. It’s a pig in a store selling some bunny rabbits. Behind him on the shelf is a big rack of ham. And I noticed that when I was five. I said, “Mummy, where does ham come from? It comes from pigs, right?” Yeah, I don’t use it anymore. That’s a favourite plate, isn’t it?
How cracked/broken does a mug have to be before you throw it away?
Yeah, you can hear. And it’s got that *makes rattling sound* – it goes. *RH advises that he keeps his for quite some time.* But not the handle, because it could fall off.
What is the most public place you have ever given or received oral sex?
No, no answer for that one. No, I’m sorry.
On the on-stage table RH has set up a game called Penguin Race, which has been customized and will feature in the newest Kickstarter campaign.
Part-way through the episode, the producer asks RH to move Penguin Race as it’s obscuring part of a camera’s view.
During the Muppet emergency question, RH frames it as having sex with a Muppet rather than marrying one.