Title: Michael Sheen’s Mildly Nutritious Hand
Soundcloud Time: 1:02:01
Youtube Time: N/A
Original Record Date: Unknown
Soundcloud Publication Date: June 13, 2018
Youtube Publication Date: N/A
Please Welcome a Man
Who last night gave Michael Sheen a sticky handshake.
I was hanging around the Centre for Alternative Technology.
Guest Best Known
JF: As the Woman in Timeholes.
HB: For playing a giant lobster in Harry Hill’s Tea Time.
Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A
Member Member Note N/A N/A
Have you ever seen a bigfoot?
Yeah, I’m really thinking about it. Uh, no.
What would it take for you to fellate the actor Keith Allen?
A sort of post-apocalyptic dearth of any human. You’ve asked a question and at no point have I considered that this might be a sort of enjoyable, consensual act. As a matter of survival.
If you had to go on a week’s holiday with one of the puppets from Spitting Image, which would you choose and bear in mind the puppet would choose the holiday destination?
This is awesome. Oh God, how much of it can I remember? Oh, I can’t – But I’ve got really clear memories, but only of John Major and Margaret Thatcher. But the grey John Major, I’d just have him. I’d have him for a week, slowly eating peas. He was always having a pea, wasn’t he? Yeah, I like peas. If he likes peas, maybe he’d take me somewhere seaside-y. Have a fish and chips. And I think – were I to sit next to him, puppet form on a beach, that palour – I’d look more tanned. *RH suggests that John Major was actually quite racy in reality.* Sounds like a sauce-bag, wasn’t he? Forget Keith Allen.
If you had to stick a Borrower up your ass, if you had to, which Borrower would you stick up there?
The dad was Ian Holm, so he can pop up there if he wants. They were thieves, they weren’t borrowers. They were. It was awesome but they were magpies. I never saw them give anything back.
What was the worst occasion in which you were totally naked?
Oh, I mean… Too many to tell. I did this show in my flat in Edinburgh once where I turned my flat into a venue and I started it in my bed. And I did a dance in my bed. I wasn’t naked but because I was wearing a dress I used to flash everything, all the time. It got a little bit uncomfortable.
What film/story would you like to see remade by the Muppets?
Dancer in the Dark with Bjork. *RH asks who would play Bjork’s part.* Miss Piggy! Lars Von Trier’s greatest.
What is the biggest animal whose life you have saved?
Oh my gosh! Animals – I love animals! Um, the biggest animals whose life I’ve saved. Probably, like, um… Probably, like, a cat, because I don’t like cats. So, I suppose if I just, by my presence by not being anywhere near a cat, I’ve saved their life because I could get nasty with it.
What is the worst music that you’ve had on whilst having sex?
Oh, do you know what I hate? The Entertainer. *HB wanders away from the microphone and answer is obscured.*
JF and HB were interviewed one after the other, rather than simultaneously.
JF had been involved in an altercation the night prior to this recording.
RH reads the emergency question, “Would you like to taste my special porridge?”, but does not ask JF to answer it.
HB corrects RH’s introduction, advising that she was actually playing Kim Kardashian as a duck.
HB does the above imitation for the audience.
RH reveals that late at night, while drunk, he tweeted Michael Sheen that he loved him.
There is a sign atop of the on-stage piano warning people from placing items atop of the piano, which RH ignores.