Title: Bailey’s Comet

Soundcloud Time: 1:17:02
Youtube Time: 1:18:06

Original Record Date: Unknown
Soundcloud Publication Date: January 17, 2019
Youtube Publication Date: January 16, 2019

Please Welcome a Man
Who is back on the telly! He’s been on the telly!

Cool Kids
I was hanging around with Spanky McFarland the other day. Yes, that’s right, the character from the 1920’s Our Gang, that then became The Little Rascals. That’s right. I’m surprised that reference didn’t get more.

Guest Best Known
You’ll know him from Doctor Who Live: The Afterparty and you’ll also know him from Hollyoaks, in which he played himself, which given those are the only two things he’s done that must have been confusing for the viewers.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: Better
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
David Frew nuclear physicist
present
Unnamed sang tune from chip/fried onion ring commercial

Emergency Questions

If you had to have the head of another human being grafted onto your shoulder in order to save space and resources, whose head would you be okay with having placed next to yours? Would it be better or worse if it was your partner’s? How much money would you have to be paid to go along with the arrangement? What if it was your head that was going to be put on someone else’s body? Have a good think about it. It wouldn’t all be bad.

Yeah, how long do I get to think about it? So, when you started the question I thought it was that my head was getting lopped off and then replaced with another head. So, different head. I’m immediately ruling out my wife – and not in a bad way but I think that, sort of, I’d be – I mean, you can’t really kiss. You can’t do any of the fun stuff. Well yeah, she hasn’t got a body anymore. I think I much prefer – I’m a traditionalist; I prefer my wife having a body. So, she’s out. Realistically, I might have Dr. Michael Brooks grafted on here. Great brain on him, also we spend a lot of time together because of the podcast and I think it would just be quite convenient. He, I think, would consider it to be – he won’t mind me saying this – he’s out of shape. And he would consider it to be an upgrade. I think everyone would be a winner. It’s an upgrade for him. *RH asks about giving up control of parts of RE’s body.* That’s up for negotiation, isn’t it, really? I think I’d want a – mmm… Yeah, he can have one hand, maybe? You don’t want to give him too much, do you? *RH notes that Dr. Michael Brooks could then touch RE.* Yeah, but it would feel like someone else was doing it. But also, Brooksy, which is not so great. I know who it was. […] People were quite interested in head transplants, and they still are. And head transplants, of course, should be called body transplants because, I mean, it’s mad but whatever, but that’s just a personal… But, um, because you don’t wake up and think, Oh, I’ve got a new head. Obviously. That’s insane. But there were some Russian scientists. So this Russian group of scientists were grafting a dog’s head onto other dogs’ bodies. And they were able to make them survive. And so you’ve just got two heads of – exactly the same situation as you were talking about. And the dogs would independently feed, um, and you can have a look on Youtube of the footage. And it’s, um, well, like I say, it’s absolutely horrible. But relevant. So it would be that sort of thing, wouldn’t it? You could see a sort of sadness in a dog’s eyes. And they didn’t have massive longevity either. *RH asks about RE’s head being placed on another body.* I don’t like that very much at all actually. Would you take it? No? What about just for a bit? I have got a big head.

What is the most surprising thing you’ve ever found in a tumble dryer?

Do you know what? Maybe I haven’t really lived, but the most surprising thing I’ve ever found is – and it’s not that surprising – is just, like, fragments of tissue. That’s really it. And then sometimes my mum would – I don’t know if they do these anymore – the, um, those kind of tumble dryer sheets, and sometimes they would end up, sort of, lodged in your trousers and you’d be wearing them for a day without realizing. Is it surprising? I don’t know.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Well, sort of yes and no. In that, when I was – okay, how old was I when Ghostbusters came out? This was 1984? ’84, ’85? Something like that. I think I saw it on video a couple of times – so I was maybe seven or eight. And I’d just watched it. And the opening scene with the library ghost had obviously scarred me horrendously because it is genuinely scary. Um – you’re familiar with the ghost I’m talking about? And I was going – I was at my nan’s and we were going up the stairs in the block of flats and I would always run, because she was at the top, I’d run up to the top to get to the door first, um, and I got up there and was absolutely convinced that I saw that ghost and ran back down again screaming. But, much as it felt like I had, looking back I can see why I thought that. It’s ’cause I had just seen the film. Yeah, sorry, I should have said, it was my nan.

Notes

RH claims he will no longer reference stone-clearing during RHLSTP as he has introduced the new podcast Stone-Clearing with Richard Herring.

RH offers RE a beer from Beer52.

When asking the tumble dryer emergency question, RH advised that the most unexpected thing he found was his cat Smithers urinating in the tumble dryer.

RH sings what he knows of the theme song to television show Bailey’s Comets.

RH reveals that his brother is a “super intelligent” teaching assistant.

A portion of this recording was bleep censored.