Title: Pert Nipples

Soundcloud Time: 1:17:03
Youtube Time: 1:16:24

Original Record Date: Unknown
Soundcloud Publication Date: January 23, 2019
Youtube Publication Date: January 23, 2019

Please Welcome a Man
Who, even thought he’s playing for time, has nothing to say.

Cool Kids
I was talking to Beau Brummell the other day, the dandy. That dandy guy, was very cool back in the day or whatever. I was meant to research him on Wikipedia and find out when he was from.

Guest Best Known
As Rodger Splodger in Grandpa in My Pocket.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Unnamed thought RH was speaking to her
RH apologized for being rude to her, then she apologized back
has been a frequent audience member
cancer recently went into remission
Rosie in the front row
civil servant in housing department
has a science degree
Peter pointed out by RH as an average audience member
does not work in IT
works in a bank
doesn’t want to say which bank
Matt does not work in a bank
when requested by RH to choose his favourite law, has difficulty selecting just one
Unnamed works in IT
wearing a Dodgers shirt

Emergency Questions

Which sense could you do without?

I’d lose the sixth one I’ve got. I’d keep the other five. So yeah, mind-reading; I’d lose that one.

Have you ever met Prince Andrew?

No, I haven’t. I’ve seen him. I’ve seen him… doing that Prince Andy stuff. This is going to sound very name-drop-y. It was at Prince Charles’s wedding. Yeah, me and Meera got invited to Prince Charles’s wedding to Camilla. Not the first wedding, I should have pointed out. If I had been I would have been cleaning up afterwards. Times have changed. We’ve all moved on. Equal respect, equal opportunities. And so, yeah, I think the entire Royal Family was there. So they sort of walked – we were in the church – at St. George’s Chapel or whatever it is in Windsor. And, yeah, they all walked past and I saw Prince Andrew. Couldn’t see his hands.

What’s your beauty secret?

Oh gosh, that’s a good one, isn’t it? Uh, my beauty secret is just agree with your missus. ‘Cause the thing is that, you know, because if your missus hits you, they know how to hit you without the bruises showing. But then you walk funny. So to avoid that whole thing of walking funny, people going, “Why are you walking funny?” Um, yeah, that’s my beauty secret. And hair dye.


RH professes to be extremely drunk.

RH states that he’s been trying to get SB as a guest for years.

RH offers SB a beer from Beer52; RH insists SB drink a lime and coriander-flavoured beer.

RH tells story about childhood friend Phil Frye, narrowly getting into a porn cinema with the rest of them.