Title: Terry Hall Hall

Soundcloud Time: 1:03:33
Youtube Time: 1:04:33

Original Record Date: November 19, 2018
Soundcloud Publication Date: January 30, 2019
Youtube Publication Date: January 31, 2019

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s got something back here that he wants to show you.

Cool Kids
I was hanging around with Rachel Riley, Katie Derham, and JB from JLS this week. They seemed a bit grumpy about something, annoyed with me.

Guest Best Known
For appearing for two seconds on the Madness video for Driving in My Car.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

Do you ever get confused with *another person with the same name as guest*?

Yes, um, once with the Inland Revenue, where – this is not a joke, this is really depressing – and, where they claimed they had a summer season in Blackpool. And that I’d hid the income. And it was like, “It’s not me.” I was in Coventry and he was based in [unclear], which is close, the same sort of tax thing. And, uh, yeah, there was that. And through school it was like, “Have you stuck your hand up a lion’s arse?” All that stuff. Yes.

Do you ever get confused with *another person with the same name as guest*?

*”Person” with same name is actually a tower.* No.

What is the worst thing you have eaten for a bet?

I think a 12-inch hotdog, when I was about ten. It was horrible.

If you had a finger that could cure rectal cancer but only if you pushed it hard up the anus of the cancer sufferer, would you cure anyone, everyone, or be like Jesus and just cure a few?

Would it have to go up Bono’s ass? I’d cure everyone of everything. *RH asks if TH is better than Jesus.* Sort of.

If you only had a week to live, who would you tell to go fuck themselves?

Yeah, I’d do it anyway. Give me a day, a year. But you have to, really, don’t you?

Do you or did you have a celebrity shag list?

Do they have to be alive? Cool. Um. David Cassidy. David Essex. *RH references Cassidy’s death*. That was sad, that was sad. I went to a gig at Wembley – he was playing, but it was with the Bay City Rollers – but I just wanted to see him, really. And I saw his wife, David Cassidy’s wife. And it was like… I don’t know, I just had bad thoughts, really. I just wanted to push her down the stairs. That’s bad, right? I wanted to kill her to get to him. *TH continues with list.* Jimmy Savile. Mitch Hedberg. Yeah, he’s got a glow. I need a woman. On Men’s Day. Um, Anne Bancroft. Any point, really.

What did you buy with your first week’s wages?

Do you know what it was? ‘Cause it was I’d met a girl – I was 15 and that was… It would have been the building. I got, like, 16 quid. And I bought her an engagement ring. Argos, it was really good. I hate to get my dad to give me 95 because it’s £16.95. But I said, “Can we get engaged?” This was about, like, after a week. And Mum told me to fuck off.

What do you think would be the worst flavour for a flavoured condom?

Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Have you ever slept overnight to be first in a queue?

No. Well, to collect something or to have something? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

Notes

RH emerges from backstage brandishing the House of Games trophy he recently won.

Date of recording is also International Men’s Day.

RH states that he’s had no female guests this week, in honour of International Men’s Day.

RH references a previous podcast episode where he wondered whether TH was very tall or very short; TH confirms that he is both.

RH tells story about him and Stewart Lee sharing a double bed with a pink canopy.

RH imagines a future where the Leicester Square Theatre is named after him.

RH drinking the lime and coriander beer from Beer52.

For celebrity shag list emergency question, RH stipulates that the list may include five celebrities.

RH notes that with his first week’s wages he bought a Sony walkman for £30.

RH notes that this is his second time meeting TH.

Original Youtube version was uploaded on January 30, 2019, but it was removed with a high-resolution version uploaded on January 31, 2019.