Title: Not Harry Redknapp

acast Time: 1:01:00
Youtube Time: 1:01:07

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: March 20, 2019
Youtube Publication Date: March 20, 2019

Please Welcome a Man
Who has just sold one of his livers for Jesus. He’s not feeling that well, actually.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Long Sally Tall Podcast

Cool Kids
I was hanging around with the Goodies the other week. I don’t know if you remember the Goodies. They drive a trandem. Who remembers the Goodies, eating Spangles?

Guest Best Known
For portraying Slimer in The Keith and Paddy Picture Show, which is my favourite television programme.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: Better
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Unnamed EA’s sister and her sister’s boyfriend are present
have been dating for seven years
their first date was also an RH gig

Emergency Questions

What was the weirdest reason you ever skived off school?

Oh God, no. *RH asks if EA has ever skived off.* Yes, yes. I was very naughty, very naughty at school. I was a nice person. I wasn’t mean or anything like that, but I just – school, I looked at it as a waste of time. I knew what I wanted to do and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I hated it – hated school. Um – God, this is going to make me get the violins out – there was… I was quite bullied at school. I was very badly bullied and there was this one time where this horrible little shit in my class had printed out this picture of me. And it was part of, like, an art class where we had to take really silly pictures of each other pulling a really silly face and I pulled a really stupid face. And he printed off about, I’m not joking, a thousand copies of this photo, like *pulls funny face* and he posted it everywhere. And I’m talking, like, in every single village you can imagine. With my phone number on it, saying, “Call this number for sex”. I swear to God. And so it was awful. I knew that was all going on and I didn’t go into school that day because I was so humiliated.

What is the best thing you’ve ever lost and then found again?

Ooh. My dignity. Um, best thing lost then found again. Um, okay, right. So, when I was really, really young, um, I had these – I called them my special dollies – and I had all these dolls. Like these babies, they were my babies. God, they were my girls, like, my life. I think I was about 22 – no, I was… I don;t know. Must have been about seven, six or seven. And had these special dollies. And I had them in this massive, like, satchel thing. And we went on holiday and, ugh, bless my dad. I left them. We’d got on the plane and I realized that I’d left this huge bag of dollies in, like, KFC or something, in the thing. You wouldn’t be able to do this now – my dad, he was, like, “Right, no…” Got off the plane, managed to go all the way back through security, found my satchel of special dollies and brought them back to me. No idea where they are now.

For your money, which STD would win in a world cup of sexually-transmitted diseases?

The best one? I think chlamydia is the most glamorous one. *RH advises that he also selected chlamydia.* Well, you don’t want to say warts or herpes or anything that you can imagine. But chlamydia you can’t really imagine because there are no symptoms.

Notes

RH expresses wish to interview the members of the band Bros.

RH announces that Windsor Davies has died (in reference to the emergency question where the guest must choose between Windsor Davies or Matthew Crosby’s wife dying).