Title: Catching a Dick

acast Time: 1:08:25
Youtube Time: 1:09:04

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: April 30, 2019
Youtube Publication Date: May 1, 2019

Please Welcome a Man
Who has just done a wee with no blood in it.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Lymphocyte Stimulation Test Podcast

Cool Kids
N/A

Guest Best Known
For being the Woman in the Sex Shop in Fleabag. Come on, that’s a pretty good credit.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

For your money, which STD would win in a world cup of sexually-transmitted diseases?

Would win? I feel like AIDS would win, but it would lose because you’d be dead. I’m going to say herpes. Yeah, feeling like herpes. It never goes away and it comes back. Well, do you know? I wouldn’t know. I was in a sex education film when I was fourteen. It was called Swings and Roudabouts. And there’s a show that I’m on on Channel 4 about sex education. And you know when you watch celebrities on TV and they show you a thing of before you were famous? I remember watching celebs on TV as a kid and they’d be like, “This is you before you were famous,” and they show a clip of them auditioning some bullshit. And I’d be like, Oh my God, I can’t wait until I’m famous and that happens to me. Well, it happened to me. So I was on this sex education show for Channel 4, just talking. And they showed us clips of old sex ed videos throughout time – some of them are terrible. And then they showed me mine. And I was like, Oh my God. And I’m fourteen. And I literally – the fucking comedy in me, even in a sex education film, I’m funny. I’m so funny. Like, I’m fourteen and there’s one line and I’m sitting on a bench and this girl – she’s just had, like, unprotected sex. And I actually look at her – and I’m the good one in the sex education film. So, the story line was – to make it relevant to kids – so I moved, my mom bought a hotel in Brighton when I was fourteen, so I grew up in Brighton. And there, there’s nothing to do but fucking out babies in Brighton. And that’s what everybody was doing, so they made a sex education film relatable to the youth. So obviously I wanted to be famous, so I got myself involved in that. And my character didn’t have sex; she was like the moral compass. And I was chatting with this girl. She just had sex, she felt down, on the park bench. And she’s like, “Okay, well I’m going to go. I’m going to go to the clinic to make sure.” She wanted to get the morning-after pill because he came inside her. Do you know what I mean? […] So she’s upset and she’s like, “I’m going to go get the morning-after pill.” And I’m sitting there and I’m like, “There’s something else. What is it? ABC? DVD? *Gasp.* STD!” Literally, the comedy timing at fourteen was just immaculate. And I watched it back, like, I’m a fucking genius. Even then. And it’s good. It’s coming out on Channel 4 in a couple of months. You can see my reaction to seeing me perform. It was great. I didn’t learn that much from that, really, but yeah, STD’s are a thing.

Notes

RH brings a bâton de commandement onstage and refers to it as a gimmick.

LH films and posts a greeting for social media on her phone.