Title: Chicken Plucker
Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: June 11, 2019
Youtube Publication Date: June 12, 2019
Please Welcome a Man
Whose second job is testing microphones.
Richard Herring’s Lulu Sings Toploader Podcast
I was talking to Toploader the other day. They still call it Richard Herring’s Leicester Square Theatre Podcast. No, get with the times. That’s not what it’s called. But Lulu calls it…
Guest Best Known
As Christine White on Doctors, the daytime soap.
Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A
Member Member Note N/A N/A
What is worse, bestiality or necrophilia?
Can I have both? Can I fuck a dead cow? *RH and RJ later revisit this question after the assassination question.* Is that illegal? But they’re already dead. Because actually, no one would know. Because surely if you’re going to Tesco and you […] Well, you can buy a whole chicken. And then when you’ve bought it, it’s yours. Fair game.
Who could you have assassinated?
No, but I’d like to. *RH asks who RJ would select.* Oh, it’s so boring but you’d go for Trump, wouldn’t you? *Mild applause.* Thank you. And actually I may do it because who’s going to arrest me? I’m in the [unclear] for disabled girls. I’d be a hero. *RH notes that RJ would be saving Trump from a prison sentence.* Maybe I’ll wait and then I’ll kill him in prison.
Ben Evans: Jonathan Wright: Would you rather be a cow or a badger and why?
Ooh. I think I’d like to be a cow because I want to know what it feels like to be milked. *RH points out that both RJ and a badger can be milked.* What? Teats? Knowing me, I’d probably milk myself.
Have you ever seen a ghost?
Oh no, but I’ve smelled one. Yeah, it was actually a lovely thing, it was. My nana’s best friend – we called her Auntie Brenda – and she was so lovely. And the day she died I was in English. And she had this really old perfume. And I knew she was ill but I, at that point, didn’t know she died. And I was working and I smelled her. And I honestly think she just come to see if I was okay, say goodbye, and off she went.
Do you ever get confused with *another person with the same name as guest*?
Yes. Um, I think it was last year now. I read on BBC News Joe Wicks is pregnant with Rosie James. And I thought, Am I? Yeah, I’ve got a lovely little joke about it, which is quite mean. I said what’s the difference between glamour model Rosie Jones and this? It’s that my daddy loved me. *RH notes that the other Rosie Jones appears further down in the Google results than guest RJ.* Well, that is so interesting because when I started out in comedy it was so annoying because people would try to book me for TV shows and they’d go, “Oh, you should book Rosie Jones . She’s hilarious.” And they’d Google her and go, “Wow.” And then they’d get me, lower down, with the beer cans. And they’d go, “Oh.” Disappointed. And I do actually feel sorry for her because she’s not funny. And I am funny. And I’ve got great tits. So I’ve got it all.
Has anyone you’ve had sex with had sex with someone famous?
Yeah, me. No.
Why do they call the place you put your fresh bread a bread bin, and what do they call the place where you dispose of your non-fresh bread?
If you had to permanently seal up one of the holes in your body, not including the pores in your skin of your hair follicles, which would you choose?
One nostril. You don’t need it. No, no. I quite like my nose. And I love all three of them. I do. They’re all useful in their own way.
RH notes that he has lost 20 pounds this year, and will continue to try to lose weight in order to fit into his wedding suit.