Title: Stevie Nicks Cartman

acast Time: 1:14:26
Youtube Time: 1:15:01

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: June 18, 2019
Youtube Publication Date: June 19, 2019

Please Welcome a Man
Who like last week’s guest has just released his own fragrance.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Long Strong Tongue Podcast

Cool Kids
I was on the dock with John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John the other day and they said if I would agree to leave them alone to make-out, that they would call it…

Guest Best Known
As Montana Mounds in Footballers Wive$ TV.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Andy McH present
Paul TS’s partner
estimates how long ago a particular story took place

Emergency Questions

What is your favourite anagram?

Oh. Uh, what’s my favourite anagram? Just, what’s my favourite word? Oh, I’ve got a story about anagrams. I once did – I got into – I’d been trolled by the MAGA hats and Pepe frogs andd stuff because I did a tweet. Candace Owens said something like feminism was cancelled or something; did some tweet. It was sort of about the Brett Kavanaugh thing and was like, “They’re ruining everything and men aren’t allowed to be men.” I co-tweeted it and said, “Candace Owens is actually an anagram of ‘internalized misogyny.'” And the replies of people going, “You don’t understand what an anagram is.” You don’t understand what a joke is, so that’s the problem there. Like, someone said something like, um. I can’t – God, what was it? Like, space man… Someone sent me an example of an anagram and I just said it back with, “You’re a whatever.” Like, so childish, but yeah. And then she tweeted me back and everyone was like, “You’re old. You’re one of those jealous feminists that never got any attention so therefore you turn on a pretty woman.” And I was like, actually, self-identify as a 10, so that’s awkward. But actually, I got a lot of attention from men and that’s partly the reason I’m a feminist because I’m like, fucking get your dick away from me, mate. I don’t want it pressing into my back on the tube. So yeah, there’s my anagram story.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Have I ever seen a ghost? I feel like I have, but I was very young so I probably didn’t. I probably just imagined it. But I definitely saw someone hovering at the end of my bed. […] I kind of wish… I used to have a routine about this but I always wish, like, when people talk about ghosts, it’s always someone who died in 1606 or something. It’s always, like, headless horsewoman or something. It’s never someone who died in 1990 pilled up at a rave. Just glow stickin’ at the end of your bed. Like that, because people die in all kinds of ways and you never see the people who die in that sort of way, so that’s why I don’t believe. Like when they do a Most Haunted and they have the raver on. Or they have your cat, the one that you didn’t like. There must be a… Apparently in America – I came up with this as an idea for a comedy character for a little Radio 4 skit. I had this woman called Brenda, who was a pet psychic. And she would get into it, your dead hamster or a parrot, or whatever. And then I had people doing testimonials for pet psychics. And I was like, Isn’t that hilarious? And then when I was in L.A., there’s fucking pet psychics. Of course there are. There’s everything. There’s a crystal shop on every street in L.A. Like, they believe in fairies and magic and that’s what makes it amazing but it also is batshit. Pet psychics, palm readers. There’s a lot of palm readers just, like, shopfronts in New York and in L.A. […] So no, I’ve never seen a ghost. Well actually, I’ve seen an apparition. No, no, not a dead person. I did four gigs on Saturday night. And what happens is after you do your third, Hal Cruttenden appears as an apparition. He’s definitely not dead. He’s most definitely alive. And that is a great joke if you know the comedy scene about when I started, because Hal Cruttenden would do about eight gigs a night. And you’d be like, How does this work? Turns out it doesn’t. Just everything runs late and just Hal sweating and panicking. He’s brilliant; he’s very funny, but he did used to do a lot of gigs.

What is the biggest animal whose life you have saved?

I don’t know if I’ve ever saved the life of an animal. Well, technically I save the life of my cat everyday by feeding it and housing it. And I’ve saved the life of a big Scottish man by feeding and housing. *RH asks whether TS has ever swerved her car to avoid hitting an animal.* A woodpecker. Oh, and a muntjac. There you go, I have saved… I was, weirdly, driving onto the North Circle near where I live at Muswell Hill and one just, like, sprung out of nowhere, looked at me, and it was, like, black ice on the road, so I nearly smashed my car. But that little fucker was alright. Very noble of me. A muntjac. And I only recently – I really enjoying saying it because I recently found out that’s what they are. I just thought it was a deer, but no, it’s a muntjac. They’ve got no tail.

Notes

Episode makes references to the previous interview with actor Richard E. Grant. At the request of Grant’s team that episode was not released.

TS performs her impression of Stevie Nicks turning into the South Park character Cartman.