Title: Knowing Your Own Dad’s Smell

acast Time: 1:04:25
Youtube Time: 1:05:08

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: July 9, 2019
Youtube Publication Date: July 10, 2019

Please Welcome a Man
Who, if his career lasts as long as Nicholas Parsons, has at least 44 more years to go. Aw, fucking hell.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Luke’s Stupid Testament Podcast

Cool Kids
I was talking to Crazy Frog the other day. Remember the crazy, crazy frog? He doesn’t go, “Ding ding.” That’s just the character he plays. In real life he’s just a regular frog. Normal guy.

Guest Best Known
DW: For writing additional material in one episode of Not Going Out.
ML: For filling in for me in the Collings and Herrin 6 Music Show and appearing on this podcast once before when we couldn’t get a proper guest to turn up.
MCS: For being the voice of a toilet on Things Talk.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Anna in the front row
first time in the front row
confirms that if she cured RH, he would not be as funny as he is now
Andy sitting with Anna
described by Anna as very good friend
described by RH as looking like Stewart Lee in his fatter moments
both Andy and Anna will be travelling to Moscow for a wedding
states that he and Anna will be married in a shed in the countryside

Emergency Questions

If you had to bum – either with your genitals or a dildo – one of the main characters in the TV show Red Dwarf, who would you bum and would you use your genitals or a dildo? And remember it’s the character, not the actor.

DW: Oh, I love that question. I used to have quite – when I was, like, 14, I had all the Red Dwarf magazines and I used to cut the back page out and put it on a wall. And I was very strongly sexually attracted to Chris Barrie as Rimmer. As Rimmer. I really fancied Rimmer. Rimmer and Christopher Reeve as Superman were my two, two favourites. And I used to imagine lying on a sofa with either or of them making love to me. So I would definitely bum Rimmer. *RH asks whether DW would bum Rimmer as a hologram or as a human.* Oh, as a hologram. He grew as a character as a hologram. It really upset me that they reset his character. The character of Rimmer grows so brilliantly over the first seven series, then series 8 they undo all that.

MCS: I find, I honestly find it really hard to bum people with my genitals. It’s really tricky.

ML: Oh, um. Well, as a keen animal lover, I’ll go for Holly. Norman. That would be fun, wouldn’t it? Nice and slow. Keeping it low. *DW notes that ML would have to bum the mouth.* Yeah, I’m going bum his mouth.

Do you think you would have made a good sheriff in the Wild West?

MCS: I don’t think there’s anything I’d be worse at. Yeah, they don’t like diplomacy and sort of cowardice, do they? Well, those are my two things.

DW: Yeah, I mean I would have done because I am a woman who is fueled by vengeance. *RH suggests that if there was a sheriff of Do the Right Thing it would be Danielle.* Yeah. Also, I am from Nottingham – famously home of the Sheriff. Worst sheriff ever.

ML: No, and I’m scared of Danielle.

Have you ever been on a plane that’s been in an emergency and seen a genuine look of fear on the face of a flight attendant?

MCS: I have, yeah. The first time I ever went on easyJet I had a really – I mean, I actually started saying it opened. That’s not how things happen. The flight attendant got on and he was about to do his, you know, safety thing. And the pilot said, “And today our flight attendants are Amanda and Gloria.” And we’re looking at this man and he was going *exaggerated laughter*. I find it funny that the pilot doesn’t know who’s on his plane. This is this man. And then yeah, it was pretty much flying through a thunderstorm for half an hour. And you know they always say look at the flight attendant’s faces, and they both looked just shit scared for half an hour. And was strapped in *makes nervous motions* just like that. It was horrible.

ML: I went to Orlando, Florida, because I’m cool. And when the plane landed I was asleep. Completely asleep, like, for about six hours on the flight. I was that cozily drunk. And when I woke up when the plane landed I was like, Oh brilliant, we’re here. I missed the whole thing. What a brilliant way to fly, by not really experiencing anything. And everyone around me was crying and hugging one another. And I went, “What happened?” “We just thought we were going to crash.” I mean, everyone. And I was like, I missed this? I missed this incredible bonding sensation for the entire flight? Aw, for fuck’s sake.


Guests are Danielle Ward, Michael Legge, and Margaret Cabourn-Smith.

This is ML’s second appearance.

This is DW’s second appearance.

RH had previously appeared on the Do the Right Thing podcast.

A brief moment of this recording was bleep censored.