Title: Love or Career?

acast Time: 1:02:11
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: August 13, 2019
acast Publication Date: August 13, 2019
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who has finally achieved his lifetime ambition and is now going to stop.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Latvian Stick Theatre Podcast

Cool Kids
I was talking to the cast of Taskmaster, series 9 the other day. I always turn up just in case.

Guest Best Known
LP: As Beth in Climaxed.
GN: As one of the writers on All-Star Driving School.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Liam present
tweeted RH an article warning women against putting chocolate up their vaginas
Unnamed RH states that he will not take a picture with him, lest people think that his fans are nerds

Emergency Questions

Lauren Pattison

Obviously you must never put chocolate in your vagina; you know that. But if you had to put a chocolate bar in your vagina, which chocolate bar would you put in your vagina?

Not a Flake, because that would just crumble, wouldn’t it? That would cause more of a clean-up. Maybe, like, um, aw, what are they called? Like, a Toffee Crisp? Because it’s quite sturdy so it wouldn’t melt. Yeah, I’m quite a cold human. You heard how I booted a boy for a career. I am ice on the inside.

If you had to be anally violated by a popular chocolate bar, if you had to, which chocolate bar would you choose to be inserted in your anus?

Ah – that would have to be – No, it would be a Milky Way Crispy Roll, because that’s quite a little one, isn’t it? Yeah, little. I had [unclear] to quickly for those. It was worrying.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

I think I have. I think I have. I do. I remember, like, I see things quite a bit. But just, like, ’cause I’m really short-sighted. But I remember being little and looking – like, really young – and looking at my bedroom door and seeing someone coming up the stairs in, like, a cape and a witch’s mask. And I remember for years being convinced it was a ghost, but now I’m an adult and, like, it was probably my sister for Halloween or something. But I remember for years being like, No, I saw a ghost. *RH questions whether ghosts wear masks.* Depends how they died. If they died when they were trick-or-treating they are committed to that mask. I’m very easily spooked though. You could easily convince – Like, you could tell a story now that this place is haunted and I’d be, like, “See ya.”

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

I would want to take just the whole gift shop. How good would that be? Run it from my house. That’s how I’m going to get a mortgage. Because then every time someone comes to visit I’d be, like, “Do you want a pencil?” “RH discusses the marking-up of souvenirs.* Yeah, because they’re like, Well, I’ve not appreciated any  of the art, but if I buy a postcard of the most visually appealing piece of art I didn’t understand, then I’m still smart. I’m so bad with art. I remember going to the – is it the Picasso Museum? In – where is he? Which bit of the world… Barcelona? Is that the right one? Yeah, and I walked in; I was like, I’m going to have a day at the art gallery. I’m so cultured. I did the whole thing in about three minutes. And then I felt really bad. I was like, I don’t think I’ve looked at the art enough. So then I did another lap, but then people were just looking at us like, She’s already done a lap. And then I was like, Now do I look like I like the art too much? I think I did just go to the gift shop. I was like, No, art isn’t for me. I like ones of the sea. Ones of, like, the beach. I think that’s nice. That’s pretty. Any of the Tyne Bridge because I’m from the North East, so it’s like that classic thing where as soon as I see anything with the Tyne Bridge on it I just rip off my shirt and start bleeding black and white. Even if I haven’t been home in, like, five years, I’m like, I’m so Northern!

Geoff Norcott

N/A

Notes

Audio only.

Recorded at the New Town Theatre.

At the end of the interview RH collects donations for Scope.

RH notes that the Edinburgh restaurant Tempting Tattie has named a jacket potato after him. The medium-sized Richard Herring potato is topped with mango chutney and orange cheddar cheese.

RH notes that during his day off the day before, he accidentally set off the alarm in his rented Edinburgh accommodations.

GN asks RH: What’s the biggest animal you think you could kill with your bare hands?