Title: Baulk

acast Time: 59:06
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: August 16, 2019
acast Publication Date: August 16, 2019
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who is currently on the run from the police.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Lots of Sleep Today Podcast

Cool Kids
I was talking to Stewart Little the other day – not that one. He’s a guy who’s found the largest-ever Frazzle in the world, allegedly.

Guest Best Known
BK: For The Fanny Song.
AW: For being a backing singer for Bazooka Joe. Or you might know her as the Girl on Undercliff from The French Lieutenant’s Woman.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

Bryony Kimming

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

I would – if I was allowed to choose a performance artist – I would choose Oleg Kulik, who’s the human mirror ball. He’s always just in galleries, just turning. Just, like, in the top corner of galleries. You shine lights at him and he rotates. He’s naked and he’s even got disco ball pieces on his penis, which I just love. And I’m sure my son would love that as well.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Never. No way, it’s not something I believe in. Sorry. Sorry. *RH notes that he thought BK would have seen a ghost.* Really, what? Why? *RH advises that he has a theory about a person’s mental health being connected to their having seen a ghost.* Mental people. Yeah, but I don’t believe in the afterlife. No, sorry. I believe in energy and, like, weird auras and that, if you’d asked me that. Definitely don’t. I can see yours right now. It’s literally just a light behind you. It’s orange.

Arabella Weir

Would you rather have a tit that dispensed talcum powder or a finger that can travel through time?

Well, that’s a no-brainer – the finger. What would I – so the finger is attached to me? Oh, what would I use it for? The sonic screwdriver. *RH asks whether AW would use it to travel to the future or the past.* Future – oh, I don’t think I want to know the future. I – mmm, that is a good one. *RH asks AW if she’s been asked this question before.* Yeah, loads of times. So often that that’s why I’ve got a lovely snappy answer. Um, I’ve no idea. I might go back… I quite, you, know – I’m quite interested in history. I’d quite like to see what Hitler, the thinking there and what sort of formed his hatred of everybody. I don’t now. I can’t get the image that it’s just my finger going through time, rather than the rest of me as well. My finger will be back in a minute; it’s going to tell me all about it.

If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?

Ah, hand made of ham or… No, I’ll go for the sun cream. Sun cream, please, sir. Thank you. I don’t really want anything under my arm. I’ve got enough fat there, never mind anything else, but yeah, it would be useful to have the sun cream. Because it’s so boring, and then I’d never get stopped at the airport, would I? Because you’re always, you know, you’ve got packets and it’s got to be in 100 ml and all that, but it would always be there. Yeah, that would be good, no. And then that would mean that my children would have to touch me because they’d have to get it out, wouldn’t they? I’d be the dispenser. I’d go, “You’ve got to give me a hug because the sun cream’s underneath my arm.” Uh, my daughter, I asked her for a hug and she said, “What, are you a fucking pedo?”

Notes

Audio only.

Recorded at the New Town Theatre.

At the end of the interview RH collects donations for Scope.

RH notes that at yesterday’s recording a family of four walked out in reaction to the acronym modification (Richard Herring’s Let’s Stuff Twats Podcast), claiming they would be taking the matter to the police.

RH notes that he wanted to make a television programme about getting an STD, which would have been called I Don’t Know Who I Did Last Summer.