Title: The Big Hub Is Open

acast Time: 1:03:21
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: August 23, 2019
acast Publication Date: August 23, 2019
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who yesterday backstage met Moira from Molly and Mack and has never been more delighted, even though you don’t know who that is.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Lily Snake Train Podcast

Cool Kids
I was hanging around with the Watch Gang the other day. I mentioned them, not by name. It’s an ad that pops up on Facebook. You can get a different designer luxury watch every month, they send you a new one every month. And there’s a box you can keep twelve in. I don’t know if you stay with them for more than a year if you get more. I would say it’s too many watches, for me personally. It’s almost too much to believe, isn’t it? It’s hard to believe. No, it’s easy to believe. It would be hard to believe if I didn’t have to pay for them, but I’m presuming. I haven’t clicked on to find out how much it costs, but I imagine a lot.

Guest Best Known
GE: For appearing in the BBC show in 1994 called Two Golden Balls.
CB: For her guest appearance on Hoxton Radio. That’s right. The whole of Hoxton have heard this person. And they’re the most pretentious people in the world and they listen to the radio ironically.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Liam emailed RH to advise that Prince Andrew was back in the news
complained about the sound quality of the Edinburgh Festival Fringe podcasts

Emergency Questions

George Egg

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

Ah – well, no. There – what I would like – are, there’s the benches in the Tate Modern. I really like those. I’m a bit of a philistine when it comes to art. My brother is a painter and we, we kind of, you know – We don’t meet in our opinions, so I’ve said to him, I really like graphics and, you know, lettering and that kind of thing and so, he said once, you know, “If you could have any Picasso, what would you have?” And I said that if money weren’t an issue I would rather have a really good poster of Picasso exhibition than an actual Picasso, because I like the aesthetic of all that. And he was furious. But when I go to art galleries I’m more interested, Oh, I love what they’ve done with the floor and I love the hinges and the lights on the, you know, on the hand rails in the Tate. And there’s these benches which – I don’t know if they’re still there, but I remember they were oak and they were slightly sort of curved like that. And then they’ve got slots cut in them and the slots were filled with a very slightly, um, sort of soft resin. So that when you sat on them there was a little bit of give. And it looked beautiful, sort of like an armadillo’s back kind of thing. *RH asks that anyone working at the Tate Modern send GE one of these benches, and then suggests that GE could actually make one.* I could make one. I like the idea of nicking one. Like in The Thomas Crown Affair. Rather than nicking a painting, nicking some furniture. Because they’re not going to by covered by the cameras, are they? […] I don’t hate all art, but I’m more excited by [the bench]. *RH notes that if GE had a Picasso he could buy many benches.* Well, that’s the thing. It’s the money issue. If it’s about money I would like, just, whatever’s the most expensive, but I could re-sell.

Are human beings ultimately selfish creatures?

Uh, yeah, I suppose we are, aren’t we, really, if you look at what we’ve done to the world? I mean, I live, I’m living with two vegans up here and, uh, so we’ve had a lot of debate, because obviously my – I’m not vegan and I, I cook fish and meat in the show. So we talked about that a lot and how… And, I mean, I do think about it a lot and I think, you know, it’s a direction we should be going in, really. But, uh, it’s easier said than done, isn’t it? But yeah, I think we’re fundamentally selfish. Still, it’s fun, isn’t it?

Cally Beaton

Which is the best caves: Cheddar Caves or Wookie Hole?

Well, definitely Wookie Hole. Because I’m sort of a south – I was brought up in Dorset, rural Dorset. And I, what I haven’t done in Wookie Hole isn’t worth mentioning, to be honest. So, yeah. Yeah, I don’t know. *RH points out that Cheddar Caves would have been just as close as Wookie Hole.* We always used to go to Wookie Hole for – I don’t know why, but that’s where we went. But you look disappointed in my answer. *RH notes that he is from Cheddar, but notes that Wookie Hole is better.* Did you  have all the, like, pencil things that you put on the top of pencils? Pencil-toppers, I think they’re called. Did you have pencil-toppers from Cheddar Caves? *RH notes that he worked in Cheddar Caves.* And did you earn more than you are this week?

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

Well, you know when you have children, and you think you’re going to be like one of those really smug, amazing parents who takes your kids to, like, lovely art exhibitions and sort of really, you know, gives them an edifying upbringing? Obviously none of us are those parents. But I did once make it to an Henri Rousseau exhibition at the Tate Modern and I was feeling really quite proud of myself. My kids were probably two and five and we were going around and being very civilized and I was looking at people going, I know, I really have got this parenting thing and then, um, somebody dropped their coffee and it went all over the floor. And my, around about four or five year-old son said very loudly, he said, “What a fucking idiot.” So we had to walk out. And as we walked out I was trying to pretend, like, “I can’t believe… Where did you…?” And I sort of said in full earshot of all the kind of nice middle-class, Guardian-reading people, I said, “Darling, where did you learn language like that? That’s a very bad word.” And he said, “Mummy does say it in the car about all the bad drivers.” So I would say that it would have to be A Tiger in a Tropical Storm as an ode. Because I think when kids swear in context, that’s pretty cool, isn’t it?That’s kind of like, they can all swear, but he did it just how it should be said. So yeah, after that I was like, I’m not – fuck it, I’m not going to try to educate these children. They’ve let me down badly. I’m going to sit them in front of Teletubbies and drink vodka. So, yeah. But that reminds me of that one time I tried to be a good parent.


Audio only.

Recorded at the New Town Theatre.

At the end of the interview RH collects donations for Scope.

Phoebe Herring provided the words for today’s acronym modification.

RH notes that listeners of the free audio podcast have been complaining about the sound quality, much to the chagrin of producer James Hindley.

RH notes that he has not drank alcohol all year.