Title: The Voice of Burnt Tits

acast Time: 1:00:20
Youtube Time: 1:00:40

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: August 28, 2018
Youtube Publication Date: August 28, 2019

Please Welcome a Man
Who is wearing his wedding suit and has just remembered why he hasn’t worn this in five years.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Let’s Start Trampolining Podcast

Cool Kids
I was hanging out on the British Airways i360 that has lost 3.8 million pounds this year. And its got a third of the visitors – it’s gone down a third of the visitors. There were two other people on there.

Guest Best Known
For her appearance on The Body Shocking Show.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

Ben Evans: Jonathan Wright: Would you rather be a cow or a badger and why?

I would want to be a badger; got better hair. And underneath this *points to her hair* I looked like a badger. It’s pretty much, yeah. It’s definitely black and white stripes.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Never, because they don’t exist, Rich. I really want to. That’s the thing. My tour support, Phil Jerrod – is he here? He is absolutely desperate to see a ghost, but doesn’t believe in them. But he’s desperate to see one. And wherever we go – if we go into a really old theatre, while I’m onstage doing my show he’ll come back up and he’ll show me where he’s gone under the stage and filmed and says, “Can you see anything?” It’s like, “No, Phil, because they don’t exist.” *RH notes that ghosts traditionally haunt theatres.*  Yeah, the only place I felt a little bit eerie – but I think it was due… I went to the Winter Gardens in Morecambe, which was the venue where Eric Morecambe started and Lauren and Hardy played there. Its a derelict shell now because somebody in the seventies burned it down as an insurance job. And Jon Richardson, being a Morecambe local, is part of their – They’re trying to restore it; it’s taking a long time. And he every year does a big show there and they basically sort of… There’s no roof on it, but they just hire in a load of seats and do it to raise money for hospice. And I did it one year and they took – It was me and him and Matt Forde. They took us on sort of the little tour and took us underneath the stage and… I think it was actually that Matt Forde was realy winding us up, that was actually happening. But that’s the only time I’ve ever been like, Oh, this is a bit eerie. RH suggests that Matt Forde is terrified of ghosts.* Yeah, he’s a wuss, isn’t he? Yeah, its all mouth, isn’t it?

Isn’t silver actually better than gold?

Yeah, I hate gold; it’s tacky. Yeah, but don’t tell them that because then they’ll charge us more. I love gold. Keep the gold expensive.

If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?

The really sad thing about this is I know that question and I already know my answer before you’ve even asked it. It’s definitely the armpit that – Well, A) I don’t eat meat, so… *RH interjects that AB could eat the meat because it’s not from an animal.* I get it, but I also, I burn very easily. I’ve got very pale skin. You’re looking at me because of a story I know you’re going to bring up. But I, I do sunburn very easily. And, um, so, if I could have factor 50. Like, it would it be a high factor sun cream. That would save me so much money, because I can’t leave the house in the summer without covering myself. My mum said to me once, she said, “Oh yeah, you do burn easily. You redheads do, don’t you?” “It’s not my natural hair colour. You gave birth to me Mum, remember? You’re right, well I’ve got my hair dyed; it was a mistake to get the matching skin graft, you’re right, yeah.”

Notes

Recorded at The Old Market in Hove, Brighton.

RH is wearing his wedding suit and advises that he is concerned that the zipper will keep unzipping.