Title: Jackhammer

acast Time: 1:07:33
Youtube Time: 1:07:53

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: October 9, 2019
Youtube Publication Date: October 9, 2019

Please Welcome a Man
Who does not send his children to public school because they’re not old enough yet.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Liquidizing Solid Turds Podcast

Cool Kids
I was hanging out on Platform 9 of King’s Cross Station the other day, with a man who’s try to dig up the skeleton of Boudica so he can have sex with it, he told me. It was a missed opportunity with Richard III, wasn’t it? Is that cheating – to have sex with a Boudica? I don’t know if it is. She’s dead already, it’s fine.

Guest Best Known
For featuring repeatedly as an audience cut-away in the Jerry Springer: Too Hot for TV VHS release.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: Better
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Lawrence RH calls him “very charming”
went to public school
public sector lawyer

Emergency Questions

What do you most regret destroying with fire?

I, um – I’ve never destroyed anything with fire. My favourite fire-related story is that my sister-in-law, who’s, like, Ms. – she makes me feel bad, not intentionally, but she’s really good at all the shit I’m bad at; like taxes and she’s on top of shit. And I found out recently that she burned down her bedroom in her old family home because she, like, went to sleep with a candle on. And that was my favourite. I was like, “I didn’t do that, you dumb bitch.” And that brought me some bit of joy.

Do you think if you have sex with a robot that should count as cheating on your partner?

No. I’m really into sex robots. Yeah, and I had this thought. I don’t remember what I said before – oh, I do remember what I said before, where I lost the audience. And I think I’ll do it again now, but let’s try it out. This isn’t funny. This is just a thing that I think there’s something in this. It’s that we could eradicate pedophilia if we could invent a child sex robot. I’m not kidding. People don’t just wake up wanting to fuck a kid, right? Some really, really fucked up shit happened to somebody and so now they like to fuck children or babies or whatever. And if we could give them robot babies or kids to fuck, then they wouldn’t perpetrate their crimes. And then it would be gone in a generation.

We’ve all built a snowman, right? What’s the most unusual thing or being that you’ve ever crafted out of snow?

I don’t know if it’s interesting, but an igloo? Yeah, because in – I’m from Chicago – you get a lot of snow. And I once, on a show day, made a little thing. I went and sat like a bunny, like a little cutie. *RH asks if the igloo was sturdy.* Oh yeah, no, its like one of the nice memories of my childhood, was being in this igloo. *RH asks if ice bricks were used in the construction.* No, no, no, it was more like we made a big thing. We made, like, a thing. *Moves hands to indicate a dome-like structure.* A dome; a small dome. And then dug it out so we could sit in. And then we, like, ate a carrot. Like a bunny.

Notes

Recorded at King’s Place in King’s Cross, London.

SB’s husband gave RH the item he used as her best known work.

SB and RH met at a play date for their children.