Title: Psychic Sex Twin

acast Time: 59:37
Youtube Time: 59:36

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: February 7, 2020
Youtube Publication Date: February 7, 2020

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s just been imagining throwing his children down some stairs.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Lovingly Smeared Toothpasty Penis

Cool Kids
I was hanging out with the Thundercats the other day. Just my luck I was tuck between Lion-o and Snarf; I hate Snarf.

Guest Best Known
For her appearance on Girl on Girl, which I’m guessing is not going to be what I’m hoping it is.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: Better
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Patrick in the front row
first time attending a recording
has been a fan of the podcast for years
works with adults with learning difficulties
Peter in the front row
RH has chatted with Peter in the past
works in a bank

Emergency Questions

Who’s the most surprising famous person you’ve been in a lift with? And which I mean, you can’t have gotten into the lift with them; they had to be in the lift you were in.

Alright, so I’ve got an actual story and an “almost” story, so I’ll give you both. So the actual story is Gary Lineker at the BBC, because he works there. I wasn’t, like, following him. So that was cool, because I’m actually a fan of his tweeting, yeah. I mean, boring, football, eh? Come on, guys. I mean, he was functional. Yeah, functional; he was a striker. If you support the team he plays for, you’ll love him, but if you don’t, you’re not, “I want to grow up to be Gary Lineker.” No one wants to say that, come on. Sorry, Gary. You might want to cut this out afterwards. I feel like I’ve offended everybody. Drogba, on the other hand – that’s flair. Do you know what I mean? Goals and flair. You see what I’m saying? Anyway… I didn’t say this to him in the lift, by the way. “You ought to watch some of Drogba’s goals. Do you know what I mean? Speed and flair – what do you have, huh? ” Anyway… Anyway, the almost story, right, was when I was working for the Olympics I was based in Canary Wharf. Now this starts as a sad story. The company above us – or below us, I forget – lost a lot of people in 9/11 – they had an office in the Twin Towers. However, as a consequence every year they’d do a charity event. And at the charity event there would be celebrities would man their phones and sell stocks and trade and things. One of the celebrities one year was Prince Harry. Yeah, and I have it on good authority – I know for a fact – he was in the building below me at the same time as me. Because on the news – I was watching the news – and I’m like, This is happening now! Beneath us! Oh my God! This is the greatest job ever! It’s going to change my life! And it didn’t, obviously. But he would have got into a lift to get to that floor. And it might have been a lift I used. And it could have been me. It could have been me. Can you imagine? Because they lost their shit and the mum had dreadlocks. With me? No, that would not have – I don’t think that would have flown at all.

Which non-potato crisp is the best?

Which non-potato… Oh, plantain. Plantain chips. Yeah, I don’t know if we caught the drama of plantain chips. Everyone who watches Twitter and arguments online. Basically, plantain chips are enjoyed in equatorial countries all over. Like, plantain is a big banana, you fry it, you make chips out of it. About three weeks ago a company owned by two white people “invented” plantain chips – again – submitted them to the Vegan Awards – there’s a Vegan Awards – for innovation, and they won. And I had time that day, right?  So I was just tweeting like mad. This is ludicrous, okay? Because I personally have a problem with vegan food that is, like, fruit and vegetables. It’s a vegetable; don’t tell me I’m eating  vegan apple. Really? Do you normally deep-fry your apples in lard? Do you? And second of all, like, you can go. There’s a wider issue here, which is serious. Like, you can go to any corner shop in London or any city in the UK and you can buy a packet of plantain chips for a pound. And you can give the money to a local grocer and you can give money to what would probably be a Black-owned company, because a lot of the companies that make plantain chips are Black-owned. But instead, if you want to give three pounds to a company owned by two white people who went on a gap-year to Ecuador – which is what they did – and went, “This is delicious! Mmmm! How come we’ve never had it?” Because you’ve never gone to a Black-owned shop in your area to see what we eat, you know? So the audacity of it. I think that I’ve forgotten the question. I’m so mad. Yeah, plantain chips.

Notes

RH relates a story about his daughter singing a song about how she loves everyone except RH.