Title: Pukka Pie Ring

acast Time: 57:23
Youtube Time: 57:04

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: March 18, 2020
Youtube Publication Date: March 18, 2020

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s so tired he left his Stranger Things notebook at home.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Lady Slipper Trying-on Podcast

Cool Kids
I had some friends over to look at my lava lamp the other day. I just Googled “cool things from the 1960’s”. Mine is actually made of lava though, so it’s pretty exciting. And the lava formed the letters…

Guest Best Known
As the editor of India in a Day. She’s also, you’ll know her from Impossible Celebrities.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

I’d quite like, um… Quite – take it or leave it. I’d like, because obviously I can’t remember everything I’ve ever seen in a museum, but I do remember I saw the massive Monet paintings in Paris this year. The really, really big ones that take up a whole room. And I thought that would be such a nice thing. It’s nice to see some art that you’d actually like to see in your house. So I’d have the Monet paintings from the whatever it’s called in Paris. The Orangerie?

Who’s the most surprising famous person you’ve been in a lift with? And which I mean, you can’t have gotten into the lift with them; they had to be in the lift you were in.

Um, I think it’s Peter Andre. Yeah. And, bless him, he was so nice. It was in the London Studios when we were filming The Mash Report and, um, he was doing a morning programme, I think. And he was so nice for the brief two words we spoke because I think he was under the impression from my – I’ve never seen him before – and he feels so familiar to me, because, like, because the age I grew up, like, Mysterious Girl was such a big thing. And so I greeted him, like, “Hi!” Like that. And he sort of – I felt I tricked him into thinking that he knew me. So he was, like, “Oh hey, how are you doing? Nice to see you.” Like that. And I was like, “I’m fine! It’s nice to see you.” But that is all we said to each other, but I think I made a good impression. I got the impression that he was a nice man.

Do you have romantic regrets?

If I do – because, unlike you, I feel like I have… *RH asks whether RP has been very direct in her romantic interests.* No, not that, but things that I would regret doing rather than not doing, because I feel like I’ve done it all. I don’t feel like I sort of passed over many opportunities, which I’m glad about. I had a lovely time. I think my uni years I really felt in love with and obsessed by one man, who was not interested in having a relationship with me. And I think those are the years when you’re sort of finding out who you are and, like, I think I sort of slightly would have done myself a favour with moving on from that idea a bit quicker. I’m trying to think if there’s any… Like, there is some sex that I regret. Just the sort of very brief, like… I’m not offending anyone, really, by saying this. Things that meant nothing to either of us. But then… no, I haven’t really got. I feel like all of the people you meet and all of the romantic relationships you have lead you sort of to where you are now. And I feel happy with where I am now.

Have you ever seen a fairy?

No. I wish I had. I used to love stories about fairies. But I don’t think that I’ve seen one.

What’s your most common recurring dream?

Well, just a comment on my dreams, first of all, is that they’re almost entertainingly dull. Like, I dream about, like, me as myself getting out of bed and going to buy some milk from the shops. And I still wake up and tell Marcus about it. And he’s like, “Jesus Christ, Rachel, this is so boring.” But I do have – I do have, like, I have quite fun anxiety dreams. Like, you know, obviously that’s what I go for. They are quite true to life as in the vibe of all my dreams, but they’re, like, things like I’ve got to do an opera. So it’s always something that I have no ability to do. So like, to do a Shakespeare play from memory or something, or to sing an opera. And I’m always, like, backstage, and I’m about to go on. And I just at that point I realize I’ve had no rehearsals, I can’t sing opera, I don’t know the words or the music. And I tell everyone in the dream, I go, “I don’t know the words and I’ve never sung opera before.” And they go, “It will be fine.” Ditto all the Shakespeare stuff. So yeah, I have quite a lot of, like, very performer-related anxiety dreams. […] I dream quite a lot about flying and I fly the way you would swim, kind of thing. Someone just went, “Yes.” Does this ring a bell? So you have to, like, push your way through the air kind of thing, like that. And the context in the dream is always that it is, it is unusual for me to be able to do that but not completely out of the world. So I start doing it and peple aren’t like, “What the fuck is happening? She can fly!” But they are like, “Huh. Good for her.”

If you had to do a human centipede with two other people, if you had to, but you could choose the two other people, and you’re in the middle, who would you choose?

Well, I suppose – and I’m sure she’ll be glad to hear this – I suppose Anna Kendrick at the front. And I suppose, just for karma, Katie Hopkins in the back.

Have you ever been on a plane that’s been in an emergency and seen a genuine look of fear on the face of a flight attendant?

Um, close. Yeah, not to the point of the things falling down, but to the point of, like – It was last February and it was in South Africa – and internal flight from one bit to another – and it was so properly like that one the plane *makes jarring body movements.* Like the film Airplane, moving around. And it was, you, know, “Bing bing bing.” “Everyone go back and put your seats on.” And yes, the flight attendants were looking very worried and then went and strapped themselves in. So it was quite scary.

Notes

This is RP’s second appearance.

The India in a Day credit attributed to RP was actually the work of another person with the same name.

RH tells some anecdotes from his tour in the “provinces,” particularly Manchester.

Romantic regrets emergency question is based on a period during RH’s twenties when he shared friendly chatter with a young woman in Sainsbury’s. Expresses curiosity about whether she would have accepted an invitation for a drink. Places appeal for her to contact him if she would have and also posits a regret-centered podcast.