Title: Ancient Porn Hub

acast Time: 1:03:03
Youtube Time: 1:02:18

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: September 2, 2020
Youtube Publication Date: September 2, 2020

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s, oh, arguing with his wife about eggs.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Lopping Shells’ Tops-Off Podcast

Cool Kids
I was talking to the cleaners on the London Underground the other day; the ones who cleaned off all of Banksy’s graffiti. They knew what they were doing. They did it for me. They knew that he’d knicked my idea for the Bristol statue. Someone else has knicked his idea and done it and it’s my idea anyway. Anyway, the cleaners call it…

Guest Best Known
For playing Maddie in Dirty Linen in the Burton Taylor rooms in 1987 at Oxford University.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
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Member Member Note

Emergency Questions

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

What springs to mind – and it’s not incredibly original, but I just do love her – so she is the so-called Snake Goddess, from Crete; from Minoan Crete. And possibly badly restored, but this incredibly feisty creature who stands there grappling snakes with bare breasts; these beautiful sort of erect, black nipples. And, you know, this kind of little cinched-in waist. And staring out with kohl-rimmed eyes. And I just love her. I tell you why I love her particularly,  because she’s one of the reasons I became a historian. I remember a classics, a history teacher putting a sort of a rubbish slide of her, a black and white scratched slide of her, kind of in the early eighties. And saying we’ve got no idea who she is. We don’t know whether she’s a goddess or a priestess or an ordinary woman, but she was buried as though she was radioactive waste. And I thought, That is what I want to spend my life trying to find out. So I think she would be probably who I want to take home. And I would force her to tell me her secrets.

Is there an author who you would have liked to have heard read their own books on an audiobook from the past, before this technology existed?

I think it would have to be Socrates because I’m sure he had a really annoying voice. Do you know what I mean? He’s one of these people who you can imagine, like being so clever that there’s something really annoying about him. So I would love to hear Socrates so I could be annoyed by his voice.


This episode was live-streamed via Twitch, with RH and guest in each of their own homes due to COVID-19/coronavirus.

RH turned 53 the weekend prior to this episode’s recording.

RH shows a donkey finger puppet, which he states was the first puppet he owned.