Title: Postman Potter

acast Time: 1:11:57
Youtube Time: 1:11:42

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: September 16, 2020
Youtube Publication Date: September 16, 2020

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s back from holiday.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Leaving Seagulls’ Tidbits Podcast

Cool Kids
I was hanging out at the Smugglers Adventure in Hastings. Its like a network of caves that go underneath Hastings that pretend smugglers used to inhabit, but there’s no evidence of that whatsoever, but it’s a way of making a living. The Hairy Jack there – He’s a man who appears in the videos. He’s a sort of ghost smuggler figure who looks very much like the actor Kevin Eldon. I reckon it recorded in about 1999. Anyway, the ghost told me…

Guest Best Known
For being in the audience of the 2016 Fringe show Come Look at the Baby.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

Has anyone ever given you advice on how to control an animal of any kind?

My auntie – one of my many aunties – shared in the family WhatsApp group what I seem is a family secret. And it was, like, how to get rid of snakes in your home or garden. So I was like, great, I can’t see how it’s applicable, but okay.Uh, it was a very long message, but basically it’s like a three-step method, I think. You get some honey. Maybe you dip a paper in the honey. So imagine it’s squeezy honey and not the kind of honey that turns into, like, crystals as soon as you get it. Dip it in honey, light the piece of paper with the honey on it. Sounds difficult. And then wherever it is, wherever the snake is in the house, it will rush out urgently. *RH asks whether the burning honeyed paper is an incentive or a deterrent.* I think it’s an attractant.

What’s the strangest or nicest thing a fan has brought to you?

During lockdown I had quite a comedy – I mean, I don’t know if this is a comedy bro moment – I got sent quite a lot of nudes during lockdown, because I decided on the application Instagram to run a nudes workshop on how to take good nudes. Despite having no expertise in the area, I just decided to – and then people sent me nudes. But a lot of them were funny. They were really funny nudes. It was really, like, people had water guns. There were a lot of, like, belfies, which is like a selfie, taken of your butt. I really appreciated it. It is important that I state this: I did not solicit nudes. I never ask for nudes. People just thought it would be a nice thing to send. It was a nice thing. But I would never ask directly for nude photographs.

What’s the best museum you’ve ever been to?

I don’t think I go to museums that much anymore. I hear about – There’s a Museum of Childhood in London, near where I live in East London. It sounds like a sad place.

How do you eat a soft-boiled egg?

I don’t. I find that I didn’t understand. I didn’t have dippy eggs. All my eggs were cooked-through to within an inch of their lives. I never had the, like, soft eggy, eggy egg in the middle. But I do think that I would kind of be more on your wife’s – Because what I realized… No, because you know when you peel a grape with your teeth? When you’ve got nothing better to do? I think peeling an egg, I like peeling an egg. […] If you lop the top off you lose all the egg. How do you lop it? Do you lop it with a knife? *RH advises that he lops with a spoon.*

What is the most beautiful thing that you have ever destroyed?

Oh God. What is the most beautiful thing that I have ever destroyed? This is such – I mean, I feel like your wife I may have butchered a song or two. No, I want to think of a really genuine one. I was to think of a time where I crushed someone’s, like, spirit. I think, I think maybe… So my, my teacher when I was in year three, um, she came in for her first day of school. I think she was at a girls’ school she thought that she had to dress like she was Maria von Trapp. But that was her married name and not her maiden name. Wow. Um, yeah. So, thought she had to dress like Maria von Trapp and she was wearing this sort of orange ball gown. I mean, that’s not how Maria dressed. We all know Maria for her sense of style. But it was sort of – it was like a governess. She was dressed like a governess. Um, and it was sort of balloon-y and it was really orange and then, later on in the year, nine months had passed. We all had to write down, like, our favourite memories of the year so that the head mistress could read them at assembly. And one of them was like, what is your funniest moment of the year? Your funniest memory. And I said, “When my teacher came to school for the first day dressed like a pumpkin.” But then submitted it to the same teacher, because I was like, that was very funny. And I think – I just think I ruined her innocence, as a young… I don’t want to crush her… Her, yeah, orange dreams.

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

I heard you asking this and I was like, I’ll think of an answer, and no. I did think of one but I don’t really know what it’s called. I think it’s called The Gardener and I think it’s a Monet. And I think it made me cry. I mean, all these things are true. It might not be a Monet. Monet? Am I… It’s called The Gardener. It’s like a man looking. And I think it’s French but I saw it in Italy. I was about to go on a lesbian cruise. It’s not by Monet by any, any… Absolutely not. The Gardener. Maybe. But I saw this picture of a man hanging in a museum in Italy before I got on a lesbian cruise and – *RH shows SD a possible picture of the painting on his computer screen.* It is not that one. It is – Let me see if I can find it. *SD performs search on her own computer.* Is he called the Gardener or the Worker? Yeah, I found it. It’s like, a man. A man in a hat. It’s a Van Gogh. That’s what I meant. Yeah, but it made me cry. I looked at that man and I cried in front of him in a museum. Or if it’s a fictional museum it would be the museum from Black Panther. The fictional museum in London in Black Panther and I would take Michael B. Jordan.

Notes

This episode was live-streamed via Twitch, with RH and guest in each of their own homes due to COVID-19/coronavirus.

This is SD’s second appearance.

RH receives a Lewis chessmen-inspired sculpture featuring his face, made by UK sculptor Richard Ison.

The animal control emergency question is derived from an experience RH had on holiday, where a seagull expert advised to give the alpha seagull of a group some food to stop the accompanying flock from bothering you for further food.

The soft-boiled egg emergency question arose from a disagreement between RH and his wife on the best method to eat one.