Title: Snail Face

acast Time: 1:26:19
Youtube Time: 1:25:47

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: October 21, 2020
Youtube Publication Date: October 21, 2020

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s been struggling with cupboards all week and is now struggling with technology.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Last Stranger Things Podcast.

Cool Kids
I was talking to Emmanuelle Charpentier and Jennifer Doudna the other day. They’re the winners of the Nobel Prize for Chemistry for inventing genetics. I mean, it sounds like they’re evil madwomen to me, but they look nice, don’t they? They’re trying to change all your DNA to make it better in some way. I wasn’t talking to Sir Roger Penrose though. He won the Nobel Prize for Physics for drawing a big cock on a blackboard. *Shows an image of Penrose.* Look at that. If you’re giving out the Nobel Prize for Physics for drawing cocks on a blackboard you owe me about 325,317 Nobel Prizes. He hasn’t even done a good job. The balls – if that’s meant to be a vagina with a penis going – the balls are wrapped. They’ve kind of got caught in the labia. And that is not right. You shouldn’t be putting your balls in there anyway, Sir Roger Penrose. If they give you Nobel Prizes for that I think that’s disgusting.

Guest Best Known
For her appearance on So Beano.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note

Emergency Questions

How many cheese graters do you have in your abode?

Yeah, I was thinking about this. I’ve got one, which is – to my shame – but it’s one that I don’t need to buy another one because it’s the one where it’s like a tub and the grater is the lid, so you grate and it falls within. But I do have two garlic presses.

Do you ever get confused with *another person with the same name as guest*?

*The other SM writes about “knockerboys”.* Yeah, it just sounds like boys who like knockers. Just some boys. Most boys. Um, yeah, that’s the statistic. I thought you were going to do the thing that everyone does, which is say “Steve Martin”. I’m so bored of that. He’s an actor. Yeah, I often get confused by him. It really helped me in my career when people are trying to like, find, he just comes up. I can’t Google myself, which is really nice, because he just comes up. Um, no I haven’t. He’s written a book. I’m very jealous of people who have written books, so, you know, maybe I should get in touch with him.

If you had to have sex with an animal – if you had to – what animal would you have sex with, if you had to?

No, I do know. It would be – for two reasons – a pangolin. You know the pangolin? So, reason one is they look very polite. Reason two is that they are apparently – whenever I see an animal that I don’t really know I’m like, “They’re so cute!” Then you find out that they’re being horribly trafficked or something. They’re, like, the most trafficked animal. They need a bit of joy because they’re the most trafficked animal, I think. The most trafficked exotic animal. So I could give them a good old time. They’re like this. *Makes face with think lips and wide eyes.* They’ve got a sort of – *Makes face again.* You know?

Have you ever seen a ghost?

That’s a really great question. Also, I’ve got a friend who is in this series of Ghosts and he did a press tour. And he said every single journalist started with, “Have you ever seen a ghost?” And then I read all his interviews and every interview starts with that. Um, no I haven’t. Absolutely desperate to, but my dad has a really good ghost story and he is a really cynical, like, Scouse, like, “ghosts are bullshit.” He’s like, “Ghosts are bullshit, but apart from this one time.” Basically – very quickly, because it’s very boring when people tell stories about ghosts. Sure. I don’t like to talk about myself or my life. So my dad is a session drummer; that’s his job. And he was working in a studio. […] Right, so he was doing something and there was some sort of music thing. I don’t talk to him about that business. And he was working in a studio that was, um, underground and used to be – I want to say used to be, like, an old Victorian lunatic asylum, but I’m absolutely making that up. He said it felt like a really weird thing. Anyway, there’s these huge doors – like, massive, massive doors you have to open and close and in the studio no music – essentially you have to, like, open the door in order to put the power on. The power can’t be playing when the door is closed. And they go down and there’s all these huge slabby doors. I’m not doing – I’m really bad at telling stories but I hope that the sentiment remains. They go to the studio. There is music playing inside the room. And the guy’s like, “That doesn’t – that doesn’t make any sense.” And then he opens the door and all of the power’s off. There’s no music. There’s no way that any music could play. And he was like – And then my grand dad said – my grand dad used to be a guard in Buckingham Palace and he said he saw a ghost walking up and down the ramparts. All I’m saying is, ghosts are real. That’s all I’m saying.


This episode was live-streamed via Twitch, with RH and guest in each of their own homes due to COVID-19/coronavirus.

At the beginning of the episode, RH plays a Cameo message from last week’s guest Michael Ian Black, in which MIB apologizes for his part in writing the film Run, Fat Boy, Run.

Twitch background: Royal Albert Hall