Title: Forsaken

acast Time: 1:24:43
Youtube Time: 1:23:59

Original Record Date: October 28, 2020
acast Publication Date: November 11, 2020
Youtube Publication Date: November 11, 2020

Please Welcome a Man
Who has not thought of anything to say at the start.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Lunar Soda on Tap Podcast

Cool Kids
I was hanging around with Kim Kardashian and her closest inner circle on a private island, pretending things were normal for a brief moment in time.

Guest Best Known
For playing himself on Most Annoying People of 2010. But you’ll know him from his hilarious character Selsdon Krupp.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

Today – which is the 28th of October if you’re watching in the future, listening in the future – in 1453, Ladislaus the Posthumous was crowned King of Bohemia. […] If you were king of a mythical kingdom, which I know Bohemia isn’t, but it sounds like it is, what would you like your nickname to be?

Was that his nickname when he was alive? *RH confirms that this is the case.* Yeah. I think I would be a good prince regent of an imaginary country. I have, in the past, I have had self-taped auditions for those straight-to-Netflix Christmas films where there’s sort of a royal prince in a land that doesn’t exist and then, like, a girl from New York comes and they fall in love. So I think I’d be good in that situation. But I don’t know what I want my vibe to be. I’d want to be, maybe just… Would I want to be grubby? Would I want to be murder-y? Would I want to be nice? Maybe nice and grubby. I guess you have a nickname that people say to your face and then you have a nickname that, like, the poor people call you behind your back. So I could have Edward the Brave and Edward the Masturbator.

Why hast thou forsaken me?

*RH notes that he has asked EG this question each time EG has appeared on RHLSTP.* Really? And I don’t remember what I said the first… Really? Did I give an answer, or was it clear that I couldn’t think of an answer so I tried to bump you onto topic? Aw, I can’t even think what I would have said. Do you feel like I’ve forsaken you, Richard? I don’t feel I’ve ever forsaken you, Richard. I’ve always credited you as an influence and as – You’ve always been my influence as the, the worst member of a double act. That’s very much been my vibe for my whole career. Peacock and Gamble, Crosby and Gamble, Acaster/Gamble; I’m always… I’m the bedrock of the double act but not the flashy one.

Do you think if more people bought him Christmas presents, the Devil might be less inclined to be evil?

Uh, I think a lot of people buy the Devil presents. I don’t think the Devil is stuck for presents. Like, think about all the sacrifices, think about… Like, he’s got a lot of people around him willing to give him stuff. I think he needs less presents, actually. He needs to learn what it’s like to only have, your personality. I love the Devil, obviously. *RH asks why the Devil is committing evil acts when he knows absolutely that God exists and will win out.* But he’s not trying to win; that’s the thing. *RH asks what the Devil is trying to achieve.* Uh, just have the best time. He gets all the best stuff. *RH asks why the Devil is living in firey hell rather than somewhere more pleasant.* No, because he’s part fire, isn’t he? You know how some people, they have the radio on in summer. He’s like that guy. He’s an old man. He needs his central heating on all the time. He’s got the best life, the Devil. […] Pretty cool. Yeah. What’s God been doing? Do you think that’s the next big scandal? The next big Me Too situation? Oh yeah. Dirty bastard.

Which five celebrities are on your celebrity shag list?

I think we’ve sort of light-heartedly had that conversation but decided it’s probably not best – It’s probably best to not really get a list in. Because I think working – we both work in entertainment – so the chances of meeting those people is slightly higher. *RH notes that the interest must be mutual.* Yeah, true. But then, you know, it’s one step closer to even being in the same room as them. *RH names those on his celebrity shag list, who are mostly characters from television shows and puppets.* I fancy real celebrities. They have make-up on, the lighting’s nice. Get me in there.

Are you a racist?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big time. Imagine if you caught people out with that question. “Are you a racist?” “Yes, oh God! Oh no!”

Who was your favourite Gladiator?

*RH advises that EG may interpret the question as he likes.* No, I fully interpret that as the TV show Gladiators. Look, it was when I was a kid. It’s probably quite route one. I loved Wolf. I loved Wolf but I think, looking back, entertainment-wise – and he didn’t last the full run of Gladiators – Shadow was amazing. Because in duel this stare he would give people was quite incredible. Gladiators was a big show for me. It’s, like, my dad – My dad and my mum were separated, and my dad would come over on Saturday and we would hang out and we’d watch Gladiators and the Blind Date. That was the line-up of shows. And the Gladiators time was the best. We loved Shadow. So good. I believe there was some – I mean, I hope this isn’t libel – I believe there was some drugs issues with Shadow, which would explain the stare.

Notes

This episode was live-streamed via Twitch, with RH and guest in each of their own homes due to COVID-19/coronavirus.

This is EG’s third appearance.

Twitch background: Desert island (where RH is hanging out with Kim Kardashian).

RH recites what he calls his “best ever” joke, about Frank Bough.