Title: Skating With Eight Year Olds

acast Time: 58:13
Youtube Time: 57:13

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: February 24, 2021
Youtube Publication Date: February 24, 2021

Please Welcome a Man
Who can’t believe how quickly the last week has gone.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Lou Sanders Tethering Podcast

Cool Kids
I was hanging around with Jacki Weaver the other day and she does not have the authority to call it…

Guest Best Known
For her appearance as a woman attempting to give oral sex to Richard Herring on As It Occurs To Me.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: Better
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Skye Brewer watching online
holding up a note to the screen explaining that Brewer is dressed like Kermit, as a Muppets callback
screen is oriented sideways until RH calls attention to it
LS tried to further read Brewer’s sign, which ends up reading, “Lou is a babe.”
James watching online
has placed a beer in front of his camera
wandering around in what RH calls “dubious jogging bottoms”
RH notes that James is on his phone
David Frew watching online
after surverying the audience members in an effort to guess which is masturbating, RH identifies Frew as the most likely candidate
sent a message saying that he though LS was great during her first RHLSTP interview
Kristen watching online
has a red-haired puppet
Lydia watching online
has a puppet
Ian Simpson watching online
RH suggests that Simpson may be playing a video game
Nicky Fitzgerald watching online
RH suggests that Nicky took a lot of time setting up the camera angle
Andy McH watching online
LS notes that McH was at her first appearance on RHLSTP, and that his accompanying friend hated her
Austin watching online
when LS requests conversation topics, RH guesses that Austin would want them to chat about World War II aircraft
Tracy watching online
LS suggests that Tracy wants LS and RH to go away after Tracy puts her hand over her camera
Emma watching online
LS thought that Emma was wearing a mask based on the way the light was hitting her face
Brian Lutzman watching online
wrote a message saying that he thought RH had a flashy watch
John Paul Howarth watching online
when discussing LS’s love life, RH notes that Howarth “seems to be up for it”
LS asks to see Howarth’s hands
Moray Binfield watching online
when discussing LS’s love life, RH asks whether she would like to be Lou Binfield

Emergency Questions

What was the worst occasion in which you were totally naked?

I mean, you don’t want a really dark answer, so we’ll skip that. We’ll skip that. This is entertainment. Um, well. The worst occasion. *RH asks LS if she removes her clothes often.* No, I went out with a boy who was very like that. He was – every occasion. It was a new relationship at the time and he just, “Oh, I’m playing poker and I’m getting naked.” And I thought, I don’t think I can trust this man. He’s naked every night. Um, when was the worst? I think it’s just when you’re with someone you don’t want to be with or – I was with a boyfriend once and his mum came in. That was awkward. And then she stayed in the doorway and offered tea. Yeah, so she saw – she saw what she wanted. She saw what she wanted and she thought, They need refreshments. […] I tell you, the best times being naked – um, funerals. This is unexpected. No, in the sea. When you go in the sea and you do skinny-dipping. I did that in Thailand and it’s so refreshing. And then with my friend Lucy Pearman – she’s a comedian. In Oxford we swam in the Oxford River, like, October time, I think, which is beautiful and you’re like, Oh my God, this is idyllic. But it’s part of the River Thames, so you’re actually swimming over a lot of dead bodies, really, if it’s all moving up. But it looks beautiful. Anyway, we took our bikinis off because no one could see anything. It was all girls. Very freeing. […] But then some people came and we were like, “Here’s our bikinis!”

Do you think you would have made a good sheriff in the Wild West?

I think I could get the stance. Like, the sort of *stands up with feet shoulder-width apart*. Like, I think I could get the stance, you know? They do a lot of that, don’t they? I think I’m not very punitive so I’d probably be, like, “On your way. Go on. Go on, we’ve had a laugh. On your way. Don’t be so cheeky next time.” I’d let all the women off as well. “Go on.”

Fuck, marry, kill: Bing Crosby, Noddy Holder, or Alan Jones?

Okay, have you got any younger references? I can’t picture any of these men. I’m not fucking Alan Jones, because he hasn’t got enough spunk behind him. Bing, Bing, Bing, put it in. I love him. What are the other two? Alan I’ll marry. He probably very good at tax receipts and stuff. *RH infers that LS chooses to kill Noddy Holder, by process of elimination.* You heard it here first. Okay, I’ll kill Bing. *RH asks whether LS would have sex with Noddy Holder while he wears his big mirrored hat.* Well, then you can see what you look like from all angles.

Have you ever improvised a condom?

I’ve got my own personalized condoms for Cuddle Club and I’ve got 300 to [unclear]. No, but we were flirting, right? And I was going through my bag and one of them fell out and he was like, “What’s that?” And I was like, “Oh, it’s a personalized condom.” Here’s my chat-up line. So I gave it to him and I said, “You can keep this as a souvenir or use it.” Guess which one he did? Kept it as a souvenir.

Notes

Recorded at the Clapham Grand in South London. Due to COVID-19/coronavirus the audience watched online, rather than in-theatre.

This is LS’s third appearance.

Social distancing is being practiced at this live recording.

LS takes a poll among the audience members, asking who wants RH to remove his top.