Title: Goblin Sweets

acast Time: 1:12:51
Youtube Time: 1:12:44

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: April 7, 2021
Youtube Publication Date: April 7, 2021

Please Welcome a Man
Who is just walking in now.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Leopards Sporting Tank tops Podcast

Cool Kids
I was hanging around with all the AstraZeneca vaccinees, who I am one of now. Its fantastic. We hate those Pfizer guys. We hate them! And they’re spreading all this news that we get blood clots – and we don’t get blood clots from AstraZeneca. It’s the best. After this is all over there will be a war between A-Z and Pfizer. And may the best team win. It is us. They all call it…

Guest Best Known
As Dick Pants in The Love Guru. My favourite role, of course, is Felix Pardiggle in the 1985 BBC adaptation of Bleak House.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note

Emergency Questions

Have you ever tried to suck your own cock?

I haven’t. I haven’t tried to do that.

If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?

I’ll take the sun cream. Yep. I don’t know what about me screams, “Outdoor Kid.” It can be sunny outside, it can be snowing outside. This kid’s indoors.

If you had to lose one part of your body, which part of the body would you have removed to save the rest of you?

This really is you projecting your current situation onto everyone you speak to, isn’t it? Do you want me to say testicle, Richard? […] Listen, you’re a man for whom testicles have been – the male anatomy – has been such a muse for you. The male anatomy for you has been what stormy seas were for J. M. W. Turner. You can see so many different colours and shades in them. I’ll lose a testicle in solidarity with you, Richard. I’ll lose the opposite one as well.

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

That is a great question. It’s a great question. I mean, your previous two were so bad that you kind of effectively set a low bar that makes this seem like, oh we’re in 19th-century France discussing around the table with a [unclear] cigarette. I’m trying to think of the things – It probably works better if it’s something that I’ve seen. You know, I might go with something by Antony Gormley. I really love that – I cant remember – was it Horizons? I think it was. It might have been either just after or just before I left for America he did that Horizon exhibition where the figures were standing all over the South Bank and you stood on the… He did it again. He did a version of it here in New York, actually, and it was – It was still great but it caused slightly more trouble because buildings are higher. You see people up there and it’s just a lot of the police getting called, saying someone’s about to jump. And the answer was, “No, it’s art.” “Oh, okay.”  It might be… It might be an Antony Gormley figure. I don’t want Angel of the North. That’s should stay there. I just want to take an – There’s lots of those, as well. Or you know what? There was – When I was at university Cambridge Museum had this amazing little picture by William Blake called Christ Child Asleep on the Cross. Have you ever seen that? It’s kind of amazing. It’s a baby lying down on a cross on the floor and then the two parents are just looking horrified. And, uh, that’s pretty good. I loved William Blake. I’d take an Antony Gormley or that William Blake.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

No, but I remember once as a kid – I think we were on holiday, I think we were in Maldon. And I remember my dad saying, “There’s gnome’s around here. If you see a gnome you can have a sweet.” And I remember looking out the kitchen window and I was so desperately trying to visualize a gnome; I swear I saw, like, this sweep of colour. And I remember going to my dad and saying, “I saw a gnome.” And seeing the kind of look on his face of… “I mean, I don’t think you did.” I went, “I think I saw a gnome. And I need that fucking sweet right now.” So I didn’t see a ghost. I think I’ve seen a gnome. But at one point on my life I was 100% convinced that I just had.


This episode was live-streamed via Twitch, with RH and guest in each of their own homes due to COVID-19/coronavirus.

At the 6:51 mark, director Chris Evans can be seen, rather than the just introduced JO.

Twitch background: “White void” reminiscent of JO’s Last Week Tonight background

Based on JO’s response to the ghost emergency question, RH states that he will start asking guests whether they’ve ever seen a gnome.