Title: Double Mastermind

acast Time: 1:07:52
Youtube Time: 1:07:45

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: April 21, 2021
Youtube Publication Date: April 21, 2021

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s a bona fide Legend of Lockdown.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Lovely Standard Telegraphing Patriotism

Cool Kids
I was hanging around with the crew of the Evergreen container ship on the Suez Canal this week. I bet them they couldn’t go all the way up the canal sideways. They took the bet on. They were great lads. I don’t know how they got on.

Guest Best Known
As Dr. Rogers in Footballers’ Wives: Extra Time.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note

Emergency Questions

Have you ever seen a ghost?

That’s really interesting. Do you know, I’ve been asked that a few times and I wish I could say yes because I do believe in them in theory. But I’ve never seen one. I do not want to see one. I don’t want to experience one. I don’t want to experience anything supernatural. I am, like, the most susceptible person when it comes to films based on the supernatural. So… Even just this conversation is giving me the heebie jeebies; that’s where I’m at with it.

If you had a finger that could travel through time…

Which finger? *RH confirms that it could be any finger.* Okay, I think what I might do is I might just go back to when Justin Timberlake ripped off Janet Jackson’s, like, thing, and just put my thumb across and save her dignity. Save everyone a lot of trouble. She wouldn’t get cancelled, right? He’d be – he wouldn’t have to do some weird grovel-y apology. Everyone’s a winner.

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

Other than the box office take? […] This is difficult. Jewelry. *RH notes that he went to the Tutankhamun exhibition and saw some amazing jewels and other assorted items, like a pencil case.* Oh, a pencil case. I love stationary. Yeah, I’ll take that. I’ll take the pencil case. I’m a woman of simple needs. I’ll take the pencil case. Done.

How many cheese graters do you have in your abode?

Um, I did have three or four but I’m down to one. But one that’s, like, a hexagon shape so it’s got all the different [unclear] on each side. I don’t eat cheese. *RH asks what happened to AO’s other cheese graters.* Normally I like Ikea but this is a fail on their part. It was one of those ones where it’s like a Tupperware, but instead of it being a lid it was a grater. I don’t like it. I don’t like it. I don’t know what it was about it. It was, like, you’re trying to make the whole grating game too complicated. Don’t try and be clever.

Is there an author who you would have liked to have heard read their own books on an audiobook from the past, before this technology existed?

Someone must have said the Bible if you’ve asked that before. Oh yes, read by God. No, I don’t want to hear the people that wrote it. I want to hear in God’s – I want to hear what God’s accent is. Like, does he have, like, a Middle Eastern accent? Or is it more, like, this indecipherable, omnipotent vibe he’s got going on? Like, what, what’s the tone? *RH notes the possibility of God, like other authors, spotting their own errors in books they’ve written.* I meant, like, sparkling water into still water. Not wine. And I seem so vengeful. What’s up with that? “Guys, I’m a really nice person. Alright, let me go again. Sorry, sorry, my bad. My bad.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be amazing.


This episode was live-streamed via Twitch, with RH and guest in each of their own homes due to COVID-19/coronavirus.

RH notes that this episode was recorded before the episode with Dominik Diamond (episode 323).

Twitch background: Union Jack