Title: Ominous Shadows

acast Time: 1:23:38
Youtube Time: 1:22:56

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: May 26, 2021
Youtube Publication Date: May 26, 2021

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s just seen some hares in a field.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Live Stream Terminating Podcast

Cool Kids
I was hanging out with Neil from the Young Ones the other day.

Guest Best Known
For appearing in episode 13, series 1 of the One series, Australian television show, The Squiz.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
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Emergency Questions

Have you ever seen a ghost?

*RH mentions a spooky experience.* Well, we had one of those in our family. One of those “woooooh” things. Um, where my great-grandmother – she was living in a communal house during the war and she said to another woman that was living there, “Just don’t take the eggs. I need them for my daughter. Don’t take the eggs.” And she took some of the eggs and my great-grandma said to my grandma, “I hope she gets a letter.” Like, basically saying… And there was something to do with this shadow; I don’t know what it was. But anyway, she got a letter. Now, when my grandma was on a… My grandma was writing a letter to my great-grandma, who used to work on ships, on cruise ships. And while she was writing the letter it was as if someone walked past the candle and her mum died that night. And then, a couple of weeks after Grandma told me that I was babysitting for someone else and I thought I saw a shadow in another room and then someone else that I babysat for died that night, or that weekend. It’s probably nothing but it was enough for me to go, “Ggggg…” 8RH points out that there are a lot of shadows.* Shadows are common. Yeah. But you’ve got to remember, this was back in the Nineties; there weren’t as many shadows back then. I mean, now: left, right, and center. You’ve got shadows everywhere. There’s a lot more sun. Climate change. *At this point RH introduces the ghost-viewing emergency question.* Yeah, look. I don’t know what I believe. I’m an agnostic. I am spiritual, not religious. I used to be religious. I asked to be religious. I became a Catholic when I was 11. And I asked my mum if I could become a Catholic. No, I was nine. My sister had to become a Catholic because she was going to a Catholic high school. And she was, like, “Whatever.” Like, her confirmation name is Ignatius. She was really taking the piss. And she was going through confirmation, I’m like, “Mum, I want to get in on this.” She’s like, “You don’t have to. You’re not going to that school.” I’m like, “I know. I read the pamphlet. I like what they have to offer. A bit of structure in this dysfunctional family. And so I became a Catholic when I was nine.

Would you rather have the ability to produce honey from your stomach or be able to make a pearl in your gallbladder every ten years? You would have a special honey stomach and sick the honey up through your mouth, producing ten kilograms of honey per year, which you could eat or sell to unsuspecting members of the public. Each pearl would be $8000 American dollars, but you would have to pass it with your urine via your urethra to get it out.

Do you know, even with the money included I automatically want the honey. But I think it would be more unpleasant to regurgitate honey than it would be to pass a pearl out of my urethra. *RH notes that vomiting the honey would be less like actually being sick and more like being a bee.* Yeah, I don’t have any experience of that to draw from though. *RH says that depending on the swallowed food, it could taste nice coming back up, like an orange.* An orange is very acidic. You’ve chosen a terrible, terrible example. It would only add to the acid, actually. No, I don’t know if you’ve ever been dunked by a wave and you get seawater up your nose. That’s a nightmare, mate. And I just, that’s a similar area. Oh, [honey’s] great, but your your peristalsis helps move things down. It doesn’t want to move things up. Yeah, I’m going to – I’m going to piss out a pearl, thanks Richard.

Would you rather be the most beautiful person in the world or the cleverest person in the world. If you choose cleverness, your current attractiveness would decrease 25%. If you choose beauty you will become 25% less intelligent.

Clever. Yeah. Beauty fades, mate. *RH disparages clever people.* No, I’d love to be smarter than I am. I’m a dumb shit. Well, the years I can be on TV are behind me anyway. No, because if you’re the most beautiful person in the world it’s an external thing, so you’re always constantly get people looking at you, commenting on that. If you’re the smartest person in the world, that’s something that you can disclose at your, um, of your own volition. You’re in control of it, so yeah. *RH suggests that a lack of mutual understanding between the cleverest person and the rest of humanity would induce loneliness.* That, but not because of… Because if you’re the most clever person in the world you know how to communicate your ideas in a way that other people understand them. Having said that, if you’re the most clever person in the world that’s incredibly lonely and it might be like, you know those old people that all their friends die and they’re just there, like, “Oh, I’ve got a long life and I’ve got no meaningful relationships.” Maybe it would be the same thing.

Notes

This episode was live-streamed via Twitch, with RH and guest in each of their own homes due to COVID-19/coronavirus.

RH is wearing a math-related t-shirt he made with his children.

Twitch background: Drawing Phoebe Herring made of her and RH

RH notes that both of his children have recently been drawing RH falling into lava.

RH reveals that since moving the audio version of RHLSTP to Acast about two years ago, RHLSTP has received 22 million downloads.

RH mentions that his daughter Phoebe predicted that he would be the next in the family to die.