Title: Battle of Hastings Nasal Regrets

acast Time: 1:12:06
Youtube Time: 1:11:23

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: June 2, 2021
Youtube Publication Date: June 2, 2021

Please Welcome a Man

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Landing Soon in Theatres

Cool Kids
I was talking to the bloke from the Guardian who says that Shrek is a bad film, and he says people who call it […] are idiots, apparently.

Guest Best Known
For being the Chief Officer of the Cheshire Association of Local Councils.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note

Emergency Questions

What is your favourite cheese?

I have two, to be honest. I like smoked cheddar, particularly on pizza, and also blue cheese. *RH notes that “blue cheese” is a broad category.* Well, in which case it would have to be Danish Blue. I’m not so keep on the Stilton.

Would you rather have a sense of smell that could travel in time (i.e., you could smell any environment from the past or future, but not something specific; you would – your sense of smell would travel in time, but nothing else would) or have a free pineapple delivered to your door every day for the rest of your life (and that will be delivered at 7:00am wherever you are in the world and the people won’t wake you up; it will just be left outside your door), but there will be a fresh pineapple waiting for you wherever you are?

Pineapple. *RH asks why JW wouldn’t want to smell the future.* Why would you? I don’t do history, so that’s an issue. And I guess that’s kind of like playing it forward as well, so I wouldn’t go to the future history that we haven’t had yet. And I was thinking, well with the pineapples – I don’t know – to be honest, you’re not going to get through one a day. But, but you can keep, you know, a small elderly person’s home kitted out with fresh fruit for – ha – for the week, you know? *RH asks whether JW agrees that fresh fruit in the morning is nice.* Yeah, but you know, frankly if you have it every day, I mean, there aren’t enough pizzas in the world to use up all that […] pineapple. Oh, you didn’t make it clear that you actually have to eat it; just that it was going to be delivered to you. *RH clarifies that JW wouldn’t have to eat it, but would presumably do so.* Now, my husband’s really good at getting rid of the unwanted five-a-day. He juices them. It’s a much easier way of getting carrots down you. Just get the pineapple through the juicer, down in two swigs, you’re done.

Would you rather have world peace or ten thousand pounds in your personal bank account, tax-free?

World peace. In fact, I would give ten grand for world peace.

If you chose world peace, how much money would it take for you to change your answer?

No amount of money. I don’t think all the money in the world would buy world peace.

If you could have a hand made of ham or an armpit that dispensed sun cream, which would you prefer?

Sun cream. The other is just too gross to contemplate. Nope. *Makes vomiting noises.*

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Yes. It’s not much of a story. Um, I mean I guess it was shortly after my gran died, so we’re talking about – What age? I might be about 14, 15. And getting into bed one night, just as you put the light out, I am sure I saw her. She was just there. *RH observes that this was a creepy experience.* It was. […] Mind does play tricks on you, but I do remember that. Yeah, that’s one of the things I don’t understand; why we’re frightened of ghosts. Okay, if it was, like, Freddy Krueger, yeah I get that. But, you know, if you see someone from your own life, you know, if they didn’t try and hurt you in solid form, they’re not going to do it when they’re a ghost. Not unless you murdered them.

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

A Fabergé egg. *RH asks whether JW would like a particular egg.* No, whichever one they feel they can spare. […] You know, they’re just exquisite. *RH notes that it would make a nice Easter present.* Well, I wouldn’t be giving it away.

Would you rather be Prince William or Prince Harry?

William. I don’t know either of them. Honestly, I don’t. And my information of them comes direct from the media. But what I see is one who is…who threw the family under a bus. And one who put the family before himself. As I say, that’s where my information comes from, so that’s why… *RH notes that he wouldn’t want to be a member of the royal family.* Oh God no, I wouldn’t either. It’s a choice. You choose the lifestyle. I mean, William could walk away.


This episode was live-streamed via Twitch, with RH and guest in each of their own homes due to COVID-19/coronavirus.