Title: Hermione Hands

acast Time: 1:24:00
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: June 30, 2021
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Whose kids have lost all respect for him, but they had no respect for him anyway.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Loosening Silo Taps Podcast

Cool Kids
I was talking to the man and lady from the Mastermind game box. Not the game with the pegs in it. I feel I might have used them before.

Guest Best Known
For her performance as a water nymph in the film Ink Heart.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Um, I think I, I believed I did at the time. I did. It was in my grandma’s house. It was white, it was white. And it was moving. So I don’t think that – That, that is stupid, isn’t it? Because if you’re going to see a ghost, it’s going to be just, like, an outline. It’s not going to be, like, a cartoon ghost, is it? (RH notes that JC may have seen someone in a sheet.* It might have been, but… no. No, it just was a white thing moving. But I was eight. I was eight. *RH asks whether it could have been a dog or cat.* No, no it was big. It was, like, my height and it was moving down the corridor. What the fuck was that? It was a ghost. No, I mean, so I do – I think I did see a ghost. Is this, like, a test? And who says they have seen a ghost , you’re just like, “Okay, they’re an idiot?” *RH confirms accuracy of statement.*

Do you remember the last time you got to sit in the seat on a shopping trolley when you were going around the supermarket?

No. *RH asks whether JC would enjoy sitting in an adult-sized shopping trolley.* Yeah, I’m sure that would be such a  – That would be such a good thing. People should do that. That should be created. Couples would just be going around together, just having all fights. “I want to go in the seat!” *RH recalls his mother refusing his request to ride in the trolley seat when he was eight.* I don’t want to have to say that to my son; he’s six. I don’t want to have to say to him. He’s very small though.

Would you rather be Kate Middleton or Meghan Markle?

Oh, I want to be both of them so I can know the truth. I just want to know. I’m so obsessed with, um… because I’ve heard so many different, like, rumours about who… Like, I love Meghan and I just, watching the Oprah interview was just, just – I just loved every second. Um, and it was so long as well. I should not have stayed up that late watching it but I just did. And, um, but then I heard actually she’s just amazing. She’s managed to – Apparently Kate Middleton is actually really nice and apparently Prince William is evil. Yeah. So, but the problem is I like them all. I like them all but there must be something, something must have happened. I just think – I just… You can sense how excited Harry is to be free of, of his reigns. And all of the stuff he’s doing suddenly, all of the podcasts he’s doing, and all of the show’s he’s doing… He’s just so open and it’s just staggering to listen to, because you’re like, but he’s a royal. People don’t… You know, we don’t know anything about Prince William, really. We don’t know what he’s like in conversation. A long, hour-and-a-half-long conversation on a podcast. We don’t know what he’s like. Whereas Harry has immediately let us in and to think of all the opportunities that Meghan and him now have, they’re going to have a lot of good stuff and fun. So I think I’d prefer to be Meghan. But I do, I do kind of feel sorry for Kate. I do. And she only wears kids’ face masks. I read that little fact the other day in, uh, something. They did a photo of her with a face mask that was really tight so it was going into her cheek. You’re like, Kate Middleton knows best. She only wears kids’ – She only wears children’s face masks because they’re the most trendy, or something. Something so stupid. But seeing this just made me feel so sorry for her. [Unclear.] You can do it! I just felt really sorry for her.

How do you decide when it’s time to retire a pair of pants?

I still have underwear that I’ve had since I was a teenager. Like, awful taste in bras and things like – But if it fits me and if I like how it – It doesn’t feel uncomfortable, I never throw it away and I don’t think I ever will. But they look disgusting. So I now have to have, like, a separate thing for when I know that no one’s going to see me in my underwear, I just wear the underwear that I want to wear, that I’ve probably had since I was probably twelve. And then, if I know that it’s actually going to be seen, I wear it for the smallest amount of time possible. So I’ll even say to Alfie, like, “Okay, are you ready?” And then [unclear] and then that’s it. Like, literally five minutes. Hate it. I hate underwear.

Notes

Recorded at the Clapham Grand in South London. Due to COVID-19/coronavirus the audience was socially-distanced.

Prior to the beginning of the interview, RH provides a trigger warning for sensitive content, which begins at the 1:11:40 time mark.

At the 56:00 time mark, RH receives a call or text regarding next guest Johnny Vegas’s late arrival time.