Title: Papier Mache Penguin

acast Time: 1:07:29
Youtube Time: Time

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: July 28, 2021
Youtube Publication Date: Date

Please Welcome a Man
Who almost made an indecent proposal to his friend’s wife.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Loathsome Sweaty Torso Podcast

Cool Kids
I was looking at my Magic Eye picture the other day. I’ve been looking at it for about 30 years; been unable to see what it was. But this time I saw it. It was saying…

Guest Best Known
For playing Audition Judge in Genie in the House.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note

Emergency Questions

Would you rather be happy, grumpy, sleepy, bashful, sneezy, dopey, or some kind of unspecified doctor? All lower-case. I’m not asking which [dwarf you’d like to be]?

Okay, well, who would choose to be grumpy? Some people would. They really do. They love it. Happy, grumpy… bashful? I think some kind of unspecified doctor. Yeah. *RH says that for this choice you must never specify your exact field.* Oh, never. I’ll be interested to see who chooses sneezy. Because if that were your main trait, if that was on your gravestone, you wouldn’t have led a great life. “They were sneezy.”

Would you rather co-own a car with Jimmy Carr, a lorry with Laurie Anderson, or a van with Van Morrison?

Wow, that’s great. Um, okay, well I think Jimmy Carr would have a very good car but I think he’d probably be using it a lot and I’d feel under pressure to keep it clean. And our car has got moss growing on the… Our car is still, like, the kind of car that we had as stand-ups 15 years ago, even though we’ve got two kids now. It’s got a flower and a blade of grass growing out of the windscreen, which have now been taken off because it went through a car wash, but the moss has not been taken off by the car wash and it’s growing along every window. And it got, it got burgled the other day. Someone went along the rode and stole stuff from every car. And we only noticed it about an hour into the journey. Like, it’s so messy. So I feel like Jimmy Carr and I wouldn’t really be co-owning a car very well. So, a lorry with Laurie Anderson – I’m not a very confident driver, I don’t think I’d like driving a lorry. I don’t think the mirrors business would go down very well with me. So it would have to be the third one. Yeah, the van with Van Morrison. I reckon I could drive a van. I saw Van Morrison perform once – an outdoor venue in Cheshire. It was perfectly nice. *RH notes that Van Morrison is one of these people who chooses to be grumpy.* Yeah, he does. But if I’m a doctor then maybe I could cure him.

Would you rather eat a full Christmas dinner for every meal, every day, or eat a medium-sized Easter egg every two hours for the rest of your life?

Oh my God. So that’s Christmas dinner three times a day. I do love Christmas dinner, but I don’t know. I think it might get a bit much, weirdly. Call me insane. Easter eggs; I mean, I love… Who – What girl doesn’t love chocolate? But would I like to eat it every two hours? I mean, setting the alarm two hours every night reminds me of having to pump milk when I had newborns and I got to watch episodes – then – of boxsets. So, I mean, if I had to get up every two hours in the night, presumably ‘d get a lie-in and wouldn’t have to do the morning with the kids. *Conversation ensues regarding the exact size of the Easter eggs.* I know what you mean. Where you get, like, one small packet of, like, chocolate buttons inside. Not a mug though. I think I’d go for the Easter egg. How long would you live with the Christmas dinner? Well, Christmas dinner you’d put on weight, I imagine, but you’d be getting […] lots of fruit and veg, probably you’ve got Brussels sprouts, carrots, peas – do you have with your Christmas dinner? *Conversation ensues regarding what vegetables each likes for Christmas dinner.* But you’d get – You’d be getting, I’d say, at least four or five veg or, you know, fruit, every day. I reckon you’d live forever. Easter eggs, you’d be getting no fruit or veg, no protein – apart from the milk in the chocolate. I reckon you’d live for about a year-and-a-half.


Recorded at the Clapham Grand in South London. Due to COVID-19/coronavirus the audience was socially-distanced.

This is IS’s second appearance.

RH notes that if he had realized that IS had been on Trisha, he would have selected this for her “Guest Best Known” credit.

Net Worth: In 2019: $50,000-2,000,000. In 2020: $100,000-5,000,000.

IS demonstrates her ability to form eight chins and receives a round of applause.