Title: Sit Down Wees

acast Time: 1:06:21
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: September 1, 2021
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s just realized [unclear].

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Low-Level Sexual Transmission Podcast

Cool Kids
I was doing snowtubing at Norfolk Snowsports Club in Trowse Newton today and all the eight-year olds… And then I went to the Norfolk Watersports Club. It was different than I expected. Very lively membership.

Guest Best Known
For playing Bob Fossil in The Mighty Boosh.


Better or Worse than Last Week: Better
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note

Emergency Questions

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

Could I have the Anglo-Saxon mask from Sutton Hoo? Yeah? I’d like that. I can’t go there now because everyone’s turning up to Sutton Hoo. I’ll take the mask and go off somewhere myself and just wear it for a bit. It’s a good mask. They were much smaller then, weren’t they? I might need to get it widened.

Would you rather be imprisoned for a murder that you didn’t commit or for a murder that you did commit?

Depends who I’ve killed. No, I’d rather be in prison for not having murdered someone. You know, prison’s one thing, hell’s another. *RH asks MH whether he believes hell exists.* Oh yeah, I think so. Maybe this is the hell. Kipling and H. Rider Haggard had this exact conversation. Yes, and they discussed – They were both firmly of the belief that this is hell and we are, the life experience is us paying for our sins in a former life.

Would you rather co-own a car with Jimmy Carr, a lorry with Laurie Anderson, or a van with Van Morrison?

I’ll probably go for the car with Jimmy Carr because he’s got very good memory. He has got a memory. He will remember someone that he’s spoken to very briefly 20 years before and he will have perfect recall and will be very nice and polite, so I’ll go for that. And we can talk about – I don’t know – someone we met 20 years ago.

What sport would you like to see introduced into the Olympics?

Well, what about the fumble? When you fumble your micturating due to a slight bodily spasm and you miss. And there’s a moment of panic and it starts going everywhere and you have to be very quick on the draw to direct it back. Or, you have to be very, very thorough in your cleaning. *RH supposes that in a competitive setting this circumstance may be rare.* You’d have to wait a long time for the fumble, although you could have distractions.

Would you rather have an extra thumb on each hand, which you can do now with robotics, and it gives you – you put it there and it means you can, like, hold onto something and then still use your other thumb; you can have them on both hands – or be able to shoot poo out of your bum like a cannon. And I should say, you can’t kill anyone with the poo. If it hits them they’ll be covered with poo, or if it’s a hard poo, like, augh! And you can turn it on and off; it’s not like every time you go to the toilet *makes cannon noise.*

Double thumb.

Would you rather have real-life VAR (the controversial Video Assistant Referee used in football matches) […] or only be able to earn a living as a look-alike of someone famous? Although you would be allowed to style your hair and wear appropriate clothes, you would not be able to change your face to look like a famous person. You would have to choose a famous person you most resemble and then only be employable as their look-alike. You can’t change your initial decision, even if in later years you start to resemble someone else or if you are much too old to be the person you chose.

*After RH describes the VAR option.* Yes, that one. *RH gives the rest of the emergency question and asks MH which celebrity he thinks he most resembles.* Pete Townshend, 1968. A short, rotund Pete Townshend. Yeah, I think so. *RH asks whether MH would still choose the VAR over the celebrity look-alike option.* Well, it depends. If, you know, it’s actually going to… […] No, I’d go for the boiler suit. The Townshend, Pete Townshend impersonator.

Would you rather it turned out we were all just characters in a video game being played by a slightly bored teenager or that the last ten years of your life had just been a dream and you’re about to wake up back where you were a decade ago?

Oooh. Well… Pre-having a child. Well, yes then. Yeah. I think that would be good. I’d like to do that. Yeah. We would just be here exactly in the same place. We wouldn’t have learned a thing.

Would you rather be shipwrecked for six months or live in an igloo for the next decade? You’d have to survive on the desert island and capture your own food and make your own shelter, but it would be nice and warm. The igloo would be as near to your current home as possible so you could still go to work, etc., but you wouldn’t be allowed in your current home. You could keep your stuff in the igloo but it’s not a very big igloo.

I’ll do the igloo. I’ll do the igloo. Because it sounds – There’s that fantastic kid, isn’t there, who’s been camping out for charity. Absolutely brilliant, so yes. He would put me to shame, unfortunately. But igloos are cozy, aren’t they?


Recorded at the Interlude Theater in Norwich. Due to COVID-19/coronavirus the audience was outside in a tent.

RH reads a letter from listeners Björn and Scout, whose cousins had paid money to have RH call the listener’s father a rude name during the Ricky Wilson episode. Since this episode was never released, the listeners sent £3.50 to call their uncle a rude name.