Title: Mind Your Language

acast Time: Time
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: November 24, 2021
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who people in ten thousand years’ time will still be reading and listening to. If you’re listening to this in ten thousand years’ time: Hello. From the past. Do you understand my language?

Acronym Modification
N/A

Cool Kids
I was playing with my kids’ L.O.L. dolls today. That’s pretty cool, right? I call them Lol dolls and that annoys my kids. They’re Lol dolls!

Guest Best Known
For appearing as McGockey on Top Coppers.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
David Frew when RH posited a film depicting the journey of Charlie Bucket’s sperm, DF suggested it be called Squid Games

Emergency Questions

What would you rather have named after you: the public toilet in the centre of your town or an embarrassing disease? The toilet would have a big neon sign above it them which would say, “The *Guest Name* Toilet.” The embarrassing disease would be mentioned on the news a lot and be caught by one in four people. Realistically, you would also need to be the first person to have the disease for it to carry your name.

*RH discusses the ability to disassociate if one’s name is extremely common.* I mean, Wang is as common as it gets. That would be perfect, yeah. Especially if it were a disease where your penis sort of got unnaturally engorged. It literally “filled your wang”. And I could say, with some level of believability that, “No, that’s not my name. It’s just the description of the disease.” It’s the German word for it. I think I’d go for the disease. I think a legacy is a legacy. The toilet… it would be run down eventually and, you know, the city wouldn’t look after it after a while. Get turned into some rubbish speakeasy. *RH supposes that it’s just nice to be remembered.* Exactly. Remembered regardless for what of. You know who I envy? Heimlich. He was the only one with, like, the cure named after him. He’s got the Maneuver named after him. Isn’t that cool? I mean, you imagine that Parkinson’s looking, Fucking Heimlich; he got… People are happy when his thing happens. Someone gets saved when his thing happens.

Would you rather know how you’ll die or what will happen to you after you die?

I think I’d rather know what happens to me after I die. Because if you know how you’re going to die, that’s torture. You know, you’d be looking out for it all the time, right? *RH suggests that if PW knew his cause of death, he could take measures to avoid it.* But in order for that warning to be true, it has to eventually happen. The mental torture of being terrified of windows and eventually causing you to jump out a window. Oh yeah. Interesting, interesting, interesting. *RH notes that knowledge of the post-death realm could also be torture.* I guess I’m arrogantly assuming it would be nice. *RH notes that there could be nothing after death.* Yes. I mean, that’s the most likely. Oh, I see, that’s what you mean. I thought you – I thought you meant that you’ll know what everyone else thinks of you after you die. What people say about you. Like, a sort of Christmas Carol thing where you float about. *RH asks PW whether he believes in an afterlife.* It seems highly unlikely. There’s no reason to believe that anything happens, but it could. But then, your question is, is there a beforelife? If there is no abyss, what were we before we were born? Maybe… Hmm, I don’t know. Yeah, I don’t think there is an afterlife, but I still will say “Sorry” to God, right before I die. Just in case. “BTW God, sorry about all the wanks. Okay, bye!”

Notes

This is PW’s second appearance.

RH thanks the listeners streaming the podcast live.

Last episode’s guest Dave Gorman left his glasses case on the table onstage.

RH notes that when he interviewed Richard E. Grant, REG left his perfume, which RH kept.

RH tells story of shitting himself at school as a boy, then blaming it on a naughty dog outside.