Title: Barking at the Plumber

acast Time: 57:18
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: April 20, 2022
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Please Welcome a Man
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Acronym Modification
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Cool Kids
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Guest Best Known
For her portrayal as Brittany the Bankteller in the video game Escape from Monkey Island.

Audience

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Emergency Questions

If you could change one thing about the human body, which one thing would you change?

I’d like everyone be able to have a pocket. Like a skin pocket where you could keep stuff. You’d never lose, you’d never lose certain things. You know? Like, you’d have this little skin pocket, I would think around the waist. Maybe a nice – so you could reach in there. Because a lot of women’s clothing don’t come with pockets. It’s true, it’s painful, and we’re just, we’re facing it now. *RH references a kangaroo pocket.* Now you’ve made the dream bigger. A large – that would be nice. It would be – Or, like a backpack. A skin backpack. I don’t know. That – That or a shelf. Like a shelf that you have. […] Put your drink on it. And I know some people, “Oh, if you had bigger breasts that’s a shelf.” Alright. Okay.

Would you rather live in the 17th century or the 23rd century?

Well, I’m a woman, so I’d be dead by 15. I say 17th, then. I say, yeah, just have a terrible pregnancy; out like a light. You know, like, just that it would be neat to see things, even though I’m sure it was just filthy and stinky and, um, not a lot of fun, but I could do it. Fifteen years. *RH clarifies that MB would be travelling in time now.* Oh, you’re saying me as a 51 year-old woman head on back? With my teeth? The teeth I have now? Okay, um… Yeah, it’s like, man, I would only last for about two months because I’d need my meds, so I don’t know. I just – I would still say 17th century just because I am afraid. I’m afraid of the future. *RH notes that it would be nice to see how things end.* Well, I think we’re seeing it though. Feels prescient.

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

Could I steal all the stuff that was stolen from other cultures? Re-steal it? Well, maybe not give it back. Maybe just, just kind of be the new stealer. Don’t let anybody have a good time. No one rejoice. I’ll keep it in a U-Haul.

Do you think the photo that will accompany your obituary has yet been taken or do you think it will come in the future?

Well for sure, it’s the youngest one. They always take the – That just bums me out. Um, yeah. I mean… Let me see. Would it be… I mean, I think it’s going to be the headshot they always put up, and I believe it was from 2005. Um, I have very long, blonde hair. It’s sort of a misty portrait with me smiling in two different ways. And I think that’s, I think that’s going to be it. […] If an obituary is like the Albany Funny Bone they’re going to try and get the hottest-looking picture. “Okay, who’s this bag of bones and hank of hair?”

If you could go into a chrysalis and turn into anything else – you can melt in there if you want – and you still have your memories, what would you turn into on the other side?

Okay, and this thing doesn’t exist. So, it’s just an imaginary… I desperately want to be able to ride in someone’s brain and see their thoughts and their experiences and their whatever it is. But I would just totally be, you know, noticing. I wouldn’t be in the brain having the same thoughts. I’d be, like, you know, on, on a riser inside their brain in a comfortable chair. And I could just see everything they thought and all the things that they were worried about. Um, their plans, their feelings. I’d like to be able to do that with anybody, anywhere, anytime, all the time. Yeah, and someone will say, “Well, the lo-fi version of that is listening.” *RH asks MB who she would want to observe first.* Probably like… Well, my husband. I would like to see what’s going on in his brain. Yeah, because he has no… why people react to things in a certain way or how something makes somebody feel. My husband loves music and, like, I’m okay with music. I understand why people go, “Yeah, I don’t like comedy.” I’m like, yeah I get it. Music is good. If I hear something three times I go, “Oh yeah, that’s nice!” But I’ve never, yeah, bought music. Yeah, I’ve never bought it.

Notes

This episode was live-streamed via Twitch, with RH and guest in each of their own homes due to MB living in America.

This is MB’s second appearance.

Before the interview begins, RH provides the contact information for various suicide prevention organizations.

MB also offers US-based the contact information for various suicide prevention organizations.

At the 55:15 mark, MB brings in her dog, who had been barking at their plumber.