Title: Test Card Girl

acast Time: 1:05:56
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: May 4, 2022
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s been attempting to mend his brain.

Acronym Modification
N/A

Cool Kids
I was hanging around with the ghost of Captain Tom the other day. He said he’d answer one question about the afterlife. I asked him if ghosts have bum holes. He said he wasn’t going to answer. He wasn’t allowed to say. But he says he calls it…

Guest Best Known
For her role as Juliette Destiny in Nebula-75.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: Better
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

If you could go into a chrysalis and turn into anything else – you can melt in there if you want – and you still have your memories, what would you turn into on the other side?

Inner eyelids like Mr. Spock in Star Trek. I don’t know quite why, but they might be useful for blocking out the sun. So, you have two sets of eyelids. So, you know, you could avoid eye damage from an eclipse or something. *RH insists that this is a waste of the transformative powers of the chrysalis.* You said the first thing you think of; that was the first thing I thought of. You know what I would like? I would like some real wings, like Maleficent. See look, I heard some people like that answer *referring to audience reaction*.

Do ghosts have bum holes?

Yeah, I think they do. *RH asks whether SA thinks ghosts use their bum holes.* Yeah, for ectoplasm. *RH posits that ectoplasm emerges from ghosts’ gentals.* Oh, you’ve had this conversation already, have you?

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

The portrait of Christina of Denmark, painted by Hans Holbein, in the National Gallery. You know who she was? She was a prospective bride for Henry VIII; she’s the one that got away. And she was already, I think, widowed, so the portrait’s in black. You’ll recognize it. She’s dressed all in black, it’s got a blue background, she’s got a bonnet on. But there’s all these little subtle details, like between the texture of the velvet and the silk and the gloves and the red ring. It’s a portrait that intrigues a lot of people. And I saw it when I was about ten on a school trip and I was just fascinated by, like, its whole, you know, subjunctive history. What if she had married him?

Notes

RH debuts his COVID-19/coronavirus material.

RH thanks Kickstarter contributors.

Kickstarter contributor Kevin Franklin is called a cunt, at Kevin’s request.

Kickstarter contributor Sparkles asks RH’s audience to visit tangible.gallery.

Kickstarter contributor Paul J. Levv (RH believes the correct name to be Paul J. Levy) didn’t request anything be said, but RH calls him a prick.

RH reveals that he has been trying for years to get Paul McCartney as a guest.

RH notes that when they were in university, RH asked SA on a date, which SA declined.