Title: Hinge Cringe

acast Time: 1:04:40
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: May 18, 2022
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s fucked Armando’s mum.

Acronym Modification

Cool Kids
I was talking to Kingsley, the Partick Thistle mascot designed by David Shrigley, which – Remember it looks like the offspring of Bert, from Bert and Ernie, and the sun from the Teletubbies? And you know, it looks quite angry because, you know, that’s not right is it? You can’t have sex with a baby sun.

Guest Best Known
For her role as Kissing Couple/Woman in Stake Out.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
Andy McH says he wouldn’t mind living in Paddington Bear’s house
confirmed he did not want a dick pic from RH

Emergency Questions

Do you ever get confused with *another person with the same name as guest*?

There is a Rosie Holt who people often tag in and she’s now locked her account, which is awful. She’s never acknowledged it as well; she just locked her account.

Ernie Herring: Do ghosts have bum holes?

Yes. Why wouldn’t they have bum holes? But they had bum holes in life. They’d probably have little ghosty bum holes. They’ve still got ghost kidneys, haven’t they? *RH pleads case as to why this is incorrect.* Oh no. Now I’m doubting my answer. No. No, I’m sticking with it. I think they have bum holes. […] If that was where the trauma was as well. Because ghosts are all about trauma, isn’t it? Unresolved trauma. If your unresolved trauma is around that area… Then why not? Why not there be levitating bum holes.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

No. No yet. Don’t want to rule them out though.

If you could go into a chrysalis and turn into anything else – you can melt in there if you want – and you still have your memories, what would you turn into on the other side?

Well, because you want to sort of say, like, a giant beautiful butterfly, don’t you? But then people would shoot you and put you in prison.

Do you think the photo that will accompany your obituary has yet been taken or do you think it will come in the future?

I hope not. Yeah, I want one of me looking old and decrepit and alive. *RH imagines a photograph featuring Holt and Kevin O’Sullivan of Talk Radio.* Oh, wouldn’t that be sad? And he’d hate tweet it.

Who is your favourite mathematician?

Ah, my favourite mathematician… Einstein.

Have you ever sucked on a fisherman’s friend (lower case)?

Yes, yeah. We all have.

How do you feel about liquid soap? Is it just an elaborate con?

I like a liquid soap. Yeah, feels less dry and dirty. Because with soap. No, with soap you wash your hands and then it’s got other hands on it, doesn’t it? *RH points out that it doesn’t matter because it’s soap.* It’s true; I never thought of it like that.

What musical instrument that you don’t know how to play do you think you could pick up right now and have a pretty good crack at?

The bongo drums. *RH states that it must be very easy to play the bongos.* I haven’t played them yet, but you’re right. It’s one of those innate skills, isn’t it? I think I could play a trombone. Actually, no I don’t. I think you just do that horrible spitty, breath-y thing that you’ve seen people try. But trumpet; why not? Give it a go.

What’s your favourite drink? If you found out that it was actually made out of wasp urine, and always had been, would it still be your favourite and would you carry on drinking it?

A Negroni. I don’t know what’s in it. It’s an orange cocktail. I just realized where this ends. Yes, yeah. Why not? And then you could regale it to people while you’re drinking, couldn’t you?


RH thanks Kickstarter contributors.

Kickstarter contributor It’s All Oriental says, “Hold up. Christ Burley is a complete twat and I wouldn’t trust him to build a sand castle.”

Kickstarter contributor Scott Pesar didn’t request anything be said.

RH imagines a scenario where one could cobble together a short film based on lines you’d have celebrities say via Cameo.

RH states that this is the last time he will ask the ghosts/bum holes emergency question.

RH reveals that as a young person he played the trumpet and attempts a demonstration of the technique.