Title: What’s The F****** Point
acast Time: 58:54
Youtube Time: N/A
Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: August 10, 2022
Youtube Publication Date: N/A
Please Welcome a Man
Who’s run five kilometers this morning and he hasn’t stopped.
Richard Herring’s Lovingly Stored Tomato Podcast
I was talking to the Amazing Bubble Man the other day. Fantastic act, by the way. If you’ve got kids, take them.
Guest Best Known
KPM: For her appearance on Richard Hammond’s Brain Reaction.
RF: The narrator of The 30 Most Shocking TV Interviews… Ever!
Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
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Member Member Note
Unnamed recounted the circumstances around the death of a rescue chicken
If you could go into a chrysalis and turn into anything else – you can melt in there if you want – and you still have your memories, what would you turn into on the other side?
KPM: Can it be someone else? *RH confirms this is as an option.* Oh, that’s such a good one. […] Um, I would come back as Liza Minnelli, Cabaret-era. I really enjoy the mad old woman she’s becoming now. Yeah, I just think she’s amazing. Yes, finally I wouldn’t have to write fucking jokes.
RF: Do you know, I don’t think I would. I don’t. *KPM asks whether RF wouldn’t like to emerge from the chrysalis with a talent for singing.* That’s it. I cannot sing, to a level where it shocks people. Like, I – it’s bad. Yeah, really bad. I mean, yeah. I, I can’t sing. So one hundred percent, I would do that. […] Yeah, so that’s perfect for me. Yeah. That’s the only thing I would like. mean, I wouldn’t even want to be taller. I’m not bothered about my height.
I accidentally elbowed Denise van Outen in the face on Channel 5’s Celebrity Game Night. What is the worst injury you have directly or indirectly caused to a celebrity or person of renown?
RF: *KPM mentions that RF has a story about a celebrity dropping their coat on her.* I did, but… Right, so, um, I was on a train going to Blackpool. I know, how Northern of me, many years ago, and there was a man in the gangway of the train, because it was quite busy, who had a suitcase – like, a brief sort of suitcase. And I thought, What’s this knob head doing here? Now, like, I can’t believe it’s so busy and he’s just standing there, so I’m going to make a point. I walked passed and said, “You know, you should really put your suitcase on the luggage rack. It’s very busy.” And it was Sir Ian McKellen. And I was like, Aw fuck. Anyway, he took it very well; it was fine and he did actually move his suitcase. I’d hurt myself on his suitcase because I banged my shin on it but there were some Americans on the train and they were talking to him. He got off somewhere, because I think, I think he’s got connections to Morecambe or something like that. And he got off sort of in that area. And as he got off they got on their phone and, “Hi Mom. Mom, we’ve just met Gollum. We’ve just met Gollum. I mean Gandalf, Gandalf.” So every time I see Sir Ian McKellen now, I’m just like, ugh…
KPM: I really wish I had a story like that. I don’t think I’ve – Yeah, I don’t think – Other than all the hearts I’ve broken in comedy, of course. I don’t think I’ve directly inflicted an injury. I don’t think I’ve ever been around anyone that’s, like, a celebrity, really. It’s a weird thing though, because you do stand-up and you meet your heroes in terms of comedy, but then stand-up is, everyone’s so normal, really, in stand-up that it is fairly equal. But then sometimes you get put on shows where, especially more so now, where there’s, like, sort of proper celebrities that you then, like, what? And they’re thinking the same of me. Like, what are they famous for? But especially since I don’t watch reality TV. Some of them I’ve wanted to injur, definitely. The ones that are sort of, like, unabashedly Tories, but, um, no, sadly I’ve yet to flip it.
Which toy did you always want for Christmas but never received?
KPM: So, in my house they used to call the Argos catalogue “Kiri’s Bible.” I would get it and I’d start, about July, just endlessly leafing through the toy section and circling things. And then that would sort of be my – I’d really think about it and compile my Christmas list for Santa. And there was one thing I really pushed the agenda on for years and years, which was called – I think it was called a sparkle dazzle pony. Like, my mum was a riding instructor, for riding for the disabled, so we grew up with horses. And my dad was, like, a welfare inspector for a donkey sanctuary, so we had horses around. So I was quite a horsey kid. And it was this plastic white horse and basically the whole thing was, out of Play-doh, you would make it a saddle, and bridle and things, so it could be all different patterns, and its mane and tail. That’s sort of it. And I, I asked so many years for this and just never got it, never got it. But I kept it on the list. And then I remember getting it when I was about twelve and being, like, What the fuck am I going to do with this? But I’d been so indignant that I was, like, “One day I’m going to get that life-changing…” And then I was just, like, I’ve now got a Play-Doh toy that I’ve got to hide when people come over. Like the Tell-Tale Heart under the bed. Yeah, so it was the dazzle pony from Argos for me. And I did get it eventually, but too late.
RF: It was never, it was never toys for me. It was always things like clothes that I wanted that I wasn’t allowed. So, like, when – I don’t know if anyone remembers this. Do you remember eclipse jackets came out? And it was, like, drug-based clothing. Yeah, it was like a cat in character smoking a spliff. You know, that kind of stuff. And my mum was like, “You’re not having that. That’s crap. “Um, I wasn’t allowed that. I wasn’t allowed Sweater Shop jumpers. Do you remember those? The Sweater Shop; I wasn’t allowed those. I wasn’t allowed, um, NAF NAF. There’s so many items of clothes that my mum was just like, “You’re not having that because it’s shit and also you’ll regret that when you’re older.” So I kind of like that. But I remember being so desperate for certain items of clothing that I would just be like, “Please, can I have that?” It’d be like, “No.”
Recorded at the Assembly Ball Room in Edinburgh as part of the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
Guests are Rachel Fairburn and Kiri Pritchard-McLean.
This is RF’s second appearance.
This is KPM’s third appearance.
In their previous appearance together, it was under the name of their joint podcast, All Killa No Filla.
There’s a brief conversation about the RHLSTP mugs that guests get to keep, but that are not available for purchase.
RH, RF, and KPM posit that there must be one person who has consumed all RH-created content.
During the discussion surrounding the chrysalis emergency question, RH notes his wish to be taller.